Crash Into Me_ A Survivor's Search for Justice - Liz Seccuro [18]
Despite my screams, he held me down and thrust into me repeatedly. I thought I was going to die in this filth. During the act, I heard doors opening and shutting and could see lights—maybe someone would help me. At one point, with horror, I sensed others in the room. I heard shouts and excited voices. But within a split second, my mind went dark again. All I could feel was something warm and wet gushing between my legs. I tried to focus on thoughts of my family and of God. Then, with a wash of pain, I passed out.
In the dark hours of that night, I remember feeling movement around the room, and remember being jostled. Was I being moved? Was I being raped again? I could feel something underneath me and the sensation of dragging, but I could not open my eyes or speak. I have flashbacks of hearing a shower running and feeling water on my back. Cold tile under my face. Time standing still and me not being able to move.
There was a shout in the hallway, “Holy shit! What did you do to her?!” but I could not open my mouth. It was sealed shut with dried, scummy residue and the rest of me could not move. I don’t know how long I lay there or how many people saw me. I heard a commotion somewhere on the floor with shuffling and yelling. The music started and stopped over and over. My body and brain swam down into a warm nest. I tried to lift my head at one point and I felt someone touching my face as I fell back into darkness.
Hours later, sunlight streamed through a window. I opened my eyes and assessed my situation. My mouth was almost glued shut with film. Where was I? I slowly became aware that I was in a room with a bed, two desks, and a loft bed above me. My eyes scanned to the right and left in the early-morning sun and I realized I was on a couch and that it was probably before seven A.M. My head hurt horribly; I raised one hand to the back of my head and felt a painful lump at the crown. I was wrapped in a dirty sheet. With horror, I looked down and saw the bloodstains from my thighs all the way down to my ankles. I began trying to peel the sheet off my body, but the blood was dried and brown and it felt like ripping a bandage from a scab.
Finally, I got free and shakily stood up, holding the sheet to my body. I steadied myself on the post to the loft bed, and crept over to the dresser. There was a pile of papers and mail on the top. “Will.” The name jumped into my mind. Someone named Will. Sure enough, I saw his name in the papers. William Beebe. As I put the papers down, I heard footsteps behind me. I froze. There he stood, just as I remembered him. His face terrified me. This man was an evil man, I thought. This man had hurt me.
But his face smiled.
“Well, I hope I was a gentleman last night.”
I said nothing. I tried to figure out how to escape.
“No? Hey, you’d better get out of here before someone sees you. Take a jacket if you want. It’s chilly out there.” His head jerked toward what I assumed was a closet door.
I couldn’t move. How could he be speaking to me after the violence of the night before? I was still afraid of what he could do to me, so I stood stock-still as he gathered his things and packed his backpack. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him take a plastic baggie that looked to be filled with a white powdery substance out of the top drawer of the dresser. I just stood with my head down, scared.
“Hey,” he said loudly. I snapped