Crystal Lies - Melody Carlson [115]
Jacob looks back up at Marcus, and his face actually looks relieved. I wonder if I might faint. “What do we do?” I ask, afraid this is all just a dream that will blow up in my face again.
“You don’t need to do anything, Glennis,” he tells me.
I feel confused now. What does this mean?
“You’re free to go.” He nods to the door.
“Just like that?” I ask, standing.
He smiles at me, probably to reassure me that everything is fine. “You’ve already done the paperwork, Glennis. Of course, Jacob will have to sign some things himself. Then we’ll take him over to detox and get him a room and maybe some lunch if he’s hungry.” He looks at Jacob now. “I think it’s meat loaf today, but don’t let that discourage you. It’s really pretty good. I thought I’d have some myself.”
“So I just leave then?” I repeat.
Marcus nods.
“Okay.” Then I pause by Jacob, and leaning down, I tell him I love him and that I’m proud of him. “Everything’s going to be okay,” I assure him as I move toward the door. “I know you’re in good hands now.”
He sort of nods but doesn’t look completely convinced. I can tell he’s starting to get the jitters now. I suspect it’s not so much out of anxiety as a side effect of the meth. And then I walk out of Marcus’s office, down the hall, out of the building, and across the parking lot to my car.
I feel like a war veteran as I slowly drive home from Hope’s Wings. I remember this old guy who used to live next door to my parents when I was a kid. He’d survived World War II but had lost a leg. I remember how he used to say he could still feel the pain of that missing leg sometimes. I think he called it “phantom pain.” And that’s how I feel right now. Like Jacob is still in the car with me. Still hunched over and hurting and hopeless. And I am still hurting for him. Phantom pain. I wonder if it will ever go away.
Feeling slightly stunned after I get back to the apartment, I walk around in a daze for nearly an hour and even begin to wonder if I simply imagined my entire morning. I pick up the phone, then set it down again, fighting the urge to call Hopes Wings and ask if Jacob Harmon is really there, really enrolled, and getting treatment. Then I realize its entirely possible that he may have gotten cold feet after I left. He might have refused to sign the papers and be admitted. He could be walking back toward town this very minute. Even so, I don’t allow myself to call. Not yet.
Instead I gather up my things and go downstairs to do the laundry.
“Glennis,” says Jack as he sees me turning toward the laundry room,“how’re you doing?”
“I’m not sure, Jack.”
He opens the door for me. “Something wrong?”
“Not exactly.” I set down my laundry basket and remove my backpack. “I took Jacob to Hope’s Wings this morning.”
He slaps me on the back. “That’s great news.”
I nod. “I know it is. But I think I’m still in shock.” Then I tell him the whole story, still questioning whether it really happened or not.
“You need to take a deep breath,” he tells me,“and just relax.”
“I’m not sure if I even know how,” I admit.
“It takes time,” he tells me as he opens the lid of the washer for me.
I put my dirty laundry into the washer, pour in the soap, insert my quarters, and wait for the water to start coming in. Then I turn and look at Jack. “It’s so amazing,” I tell him, finally allowing myself to smile. “I think it’s a real miracle, Jack.”
He nods. “But it’s only just beginning, Glennis. It’s up to Jacob to make the miracle work.”
“Right.” I feel myself deflating again.
“But it’s a great start, Glennis.” He smiles broadly. “And the Bible says not to despise small beginnings.”
“Yes. I’m sure you’re right, Jack. But in some ways I’m almost afraid to believe the whole thing. It seems so unreal.”
“Well, take it easy on yourself. Give it a few days to sink in.”
I pick up my laundry backpack as Jack opens the door for me again. “Thanks,” I tell him,“for everything.”
“I’m not done praying for your boy yet,” he says as we walk outside together.