Crystal Lies - Melody Carlson [73]
“Of course.”
“But then you continue to worry? Even after you’ve prayed?”
I considered this. “Yes, I suppose I do.”
“Do you believe in the Bible?”
“Of course.” I wished I could think of some other response, but it was as if my mind was stuck.
“Well, there’s a Bible verse…” He pointed to a plaque hanging on the wall behind his desk. It was partially obscured by a collage with dozens of pictures of hands and feet. He took down the plaque and read,“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”
I nodded. “Yes, I’m familiar with that verse.”
“I challenge you to become more familiar with it.” He bent over and wrote down Philippians 4:6-7 on a piece of paper from a prescription pad. “Here.”
I looked at the name printed across the top in fine print. Apparently this Marcus fellow was also a licensed psychiatrist, although I hadn’t heard anyone referring to him as Dr. Palmer. “Is this my prescription?”
He smiled now. “Yes, as a matter of fact, it is. I think you should memorize that verse as well as practice saying ‘It is not my fault that my son has a drug problem’ throughout the day.”
“And all my troubles will magically disappear?”
“Glennis, there are no magical cures for lives that have been blind-sided by addiction.”
“I figured as much.”
And so I left Hope’s Wings feeling utterly hopeless and dismayed. I told myself I didn’t ever have to go back, but I had a feeling that I would. Hopefully it would be with Jacob.
I taped Marcus Palmers “prescription” of Philippians 4:6-7 to my refrigerator door, right next to Jack’s note, which I suspected was also from the Bible.
Naturally, Jacob didn’t come home that night. Or the next. After several days I drove by the Red Devil to see if he was around, but one of the workers informed me that he hadn’t been into work the last couple of days and was as good as fired now. I drove by Daniel’s place, too. But since Jacob no longer had a car, it was impossible to tell if he was there or not. However, I guessed by the number of cars that he might be. I had no doubt that drug activity was going on in the duplex dump. How could it not? I even considered an anonymous phone call to the police, informing them of this address and the likelihood of drug trafficking there. However, I suspected this could get Jacob into as much trouble as anyone. And I just wasn’t sure. Most of all I felt desperate, as if I had to do something. Anything!
I dug through my purse until I found the wrinkled brochure that Marcus had given me at Hope’s Wings. I knew it had some information about codependent meetings. I had resented the idea at the time, but suddenly I wondered if it might help. Maybe the other parents would have some ideas for ways I could help my son. Or maybe the class would already be full, and I’d have a good excuse to simply forget the whole thing. Perhaps I wasn’t so unlike my son when it came to excuses. Even so, I decided to call.
“The codependent class?” said the woman. “Yes, isn’t it on Tuesdays?”
“Yes, a new one starts tonight. I think it’s full, but I can put you on a waiting list for the next one.”
To my surprise, I was very disappointed and considered just hanging up, but I decided to give her my name anyway.
“Glennis Harmon?” she asked with interest.
“Yes, that’s right.”
“We already have you down for this session.”
“Oh?” I decided not to question how this had happened but simply thanked her and hung up.
As I drove back toward Hope’s Wings, I felt mildly surprised to notice that the trees were nearly barren of leaves now. I had noticed the temperature dropping, but when had it become autumn? How had I missed it? It almost seemed as if I’d been trapped in some sort of time warp, as if the past weeks and months had stealthily passed without my even noticing. Yet how could that