Crystal Lies - Melody Carlson [72]
He looked as if I had momentarily lost him. “Oh, you mean about saying that only Jacob could help Jacob.”
“I guess so.” Actually I meant about everything. Had Geoffrey been right about everything?
“Well, I suppose I should be careful with my words. I certainly don’t want to devalue the important role that family members can play in a person’s recovery Statistics prove that a good support network of loving family and friends can really improve a person’s chances of making a complete recovery.”
I sighed. “But what about a parent who is cynical and removed? What about a parent who tells his son, ‘This is the bed you made; you sleep in it.’? Or what about a father who ignores his son for days while his son is actually doing pretty well, but then he explodes when he finds out that his son has blown it again?”
“That’s not the kind of parenting that encourages a user to recover.”
“No, I didn’t think so.” Yet this news brought me no relief. Only more grief and regret and sadness. It wasn’t worth being right if it didn’t fix anything.
“Are you suggesting it’s your husbands fault that Jacob became involved in drugs?”
“No, no, not exactly. I guess I think its the fault of both of us.” I shook my head now. “No, that’s not right, is it?”
“You tell me. Did you introduce your son to smoking grass or abusing alcohol?”
“Of course not.”
“Did you help him make connections with the neighborhood dope dealer?”
“No.”
“I know you’re not a perfect mom, Glennis, because no mother is perfect. But if you walk away from here with only one thing today, I hope you’ll remember that it’s not your fault”
“And there’s nothing! can do?”
“Well, there are a few things you can do that will help. But it’ll be up to Jacob to decide whether or not he wants to change.”
That’s when Marcus explained to me how their rehab program worked and how there was a waiting list I could put Jacob’s name on. “Just in case he wakes up one day and decides he’s had enough.”
“How long is the wait?”
“Right now it’s about four weeks.”
“Well, go ahead and put him down. Who knows where he’ll be in four weeks.” I controlled myself from saying he might be dead or locked up in jail, although I believed those both to be distinct possibilities.
“In the meantime, I encourage you to attend our codependent class.”
“Are you suggesting I’m codependent?” I’d read enough to know that is not a good thing.
“I’d be surprised if you weren’t codependent. Most mothers are, at least to a certain degree.”
“And fathers?”
“A few of them are codependent too.”
“But it’s mostly a mother problem?”
He smiled. “I’ll give you some forms to fill out. For insurance and billing and medical and family history. Basic stuff.”
I took the papers and stood, ready to make my exit.
He handed me another brochure. “This will tell you a little more about our codependent class. And you’re in luck. We’re starting a new session next week. It’s on Tuesday evenings.”
With no intention of signing up for the session, I nodded and put all the papers into my oversize bag and politely thanked Marcus for his time.
He reached out to shake my hand. “I know it’s not easy, Glennis. Being the parent of an addict is probably one of the hardest challenges life deals out. But, believe me, you can get through it.”
I’m sure I looked unconvinced. I may have even rolled my eyes at this point. Mostly I just wanted to get out of that place.
He cleared his throat. “I always encourage my clients and patients to call upon a Higher Power, something beyond themselves to help them through these difficult times.”
“A Higher Power?” I studied this man for a moment. His encouragement seemed sincere, and yet with his tie-dyed T-shirt and ponytail, he didn’t strike me as a particularly religious man.
“Do you believe in God?” he asked me.
“Of course,” I assured him. “I’ve been a Christian most of my life.”
“And do you pray for Jacob?”
“Of course.” Now I was getting a bit irritated. Who was he to question me in the area of faith?
He nodded.