Crystal Lies - Melody Carlson [90]
“Eggs?” I asked as I surveyed the contents of the refrigerator.
“I guess.”
“Did you get to talk to your sister much yesterday?” I asked.
He rolled his eyes. “Barely. I think she was trying to avoid me.”
“Join the club,” I told him. “I think she was avoiding me, too.”
“Why?” he said. “Why should she avoid you?”
I shook my head as I cracked another egg. “Because of what’s going on between me and your dad.”
“What is going on?” He put his elbows on the counter and leaned forward with interest. “I mean, I know you think he’s having an affair. But have you guys talked or anything?”
Relieved that we’d come up with a topic to distract Jacob from the rehab appointment, I decided to be completely honest with him. I told him about my last conversation with Geoffrey and how he was already moving toward a divorce.
“Wow.” Jacob sighed as I handed him a plate of eggs and toast. “That’s pretty harsh.”
I shrugged. “I guess it was inevitable.”
“Do you have a lawyer yet?”
I sat down and shook my head. “Things got kind of crazy after that. What with Matthew’s death and the service and everything.”
“But you’re going to get a lawyer, right?”
“I guess.”
“You guess?” Jacob pointed his fork at me. “Mom, you have to get a lawyer. Sheesh, dad is a lawyer, and he’ll probably hire some sleazebag divorce lawyer and try to get away with everything.”
“Everything?”
“I mean all the money.”
I attempted a smile. “I don’t really care about the money, Jacob. Besides, it was mostly your dad’s money. It came from his grandparents.”
“But what about us?” demanded Jacob. “Well, me, I guess. I’m sure Daddy Dearest will give perfect Sarah anything she wants. But what about me? I’m part of the family too. What if Dad just totally writes me off?”
“Oh, Jacob, your father would never—”
“You don’t know, Mom. You don’t really know how he feels about me. I’m pretty sure he hates me. He probably wishes that was my funeral yester—”
“Jacob!” I firmly shook my head. “Your dad might be upset about some…well, some things. But he really does love you.”
“Don’t be so sure, Mom.”
I didn’t know what to say, and I didn’t like how this conversation had deteriorated so quickly. “You may be right about getting a lawyer though, Jacob,” I said. “But don’t worry about finances. Really, we’ll be just fine.”
“Just fine?” He frowned. “You told me yourself that you’re barely scraping by, Mom. And I don’t make enough money to support both of us.”
I smiled. “You don’t even have a job right now, Jacob.”
“Yeah, but I can get something,” he assured me. “There are always ways to make money.”
“Well, don’t worry about me, Jacob,” I said again. “I’ve got some money put aside, and I can always go back to teaching or substituting.”
“I thought you didn’t like substituting.”
“Well, it’s better than nothing.” I picked up our empty plates. “And maybe it would be good for me to get out more anyway.”
“But substituting?” He made a face. “Kids treat subs like dirt, Mom.”
I rinsed the plates. “I know.” And I did know The last time I had substituted, only to keep my certificate current, was a complete and total disaster. I had subbed for a middle-school English teacher, a friend of mine who had warned me it wouldn’t be easy. The one-week assignment had felt more like a year. And when it was done, I had sworn I’d never do it again.
But life had changed a lot since then. And maybe we don’t always get to choose what we want. Maybe we just have to take what life dishes out sometimes. And maybe my punishment for failing at both my marriage and motherhood was to spend the rest of my life substituting for a bunch of beastly middle-school kids.
Jacob turned on the TV, and I made a dash for the shower, praying he would still be there when I finished. Thankfully, he was. And to my utter amazement, we made it into the Land Rover and all the way to Hope’s Wings before he began to balk.
“I don’t think I really need to do this,” he said as I turned into the driveway.
“It’s just an interview and evaluation,” I reminded him. “This place is a dump,” he observed.
I wanted to say that it wasn’t