Crystal Lies - Melody Carlson [91]
“But really, Mom. This isn’t going to do any good.”
“How do you know, Jacob?”
“Because this place is totally stupid.”
“How do you know it’s stupid?”
“I just know” He exhaled loudly. “It’s what everyone says.”
“Do you know people who’ve been here?”
He laughed. “Yeah. And they’re back on the streets right now, doing the same thing they did before they checked in.”
“Well, it doesn’t work for everyone, but maybe—”
“It doesn’t work for anyone, Mom. It’s all a crock.”
“You have to at least give it a chance, Jacob.” I opened the door now “Just do the evaluation.”
“I don’t need this,” he seethed as he climbed out of the Range Rover.
“Fine,” I told him. “If you don’t need this, they’ll tell you as much after the interview.”
“Yeah, sure,” he said as we walked across the parking lot. “They don’t turn anyone away, Mom. They’re here to make money, you know.”
“That’s not true, Jacob. They only accept people who really want to change.” I paused and looked at him as we stood before the door to the office. “You do want to change, don’t you?”
He just shrugged.
I reached for the door and prayed for a miracle.
I knew that I wouldn’t be included in the evaluation or interview. And that was fine. I felt sure there were things I did not need, or want, to know. Sometimes ignorance really is bliss. Although sometimes it can kill you too.
The whole thing took about two hours, and during that time I paced and flipped through tattered magazines and imagined what an expectant father must feel like while sitting in the waiting room when his wife is in labor. I tried to pray but am afraid my prayers were as befuddled and tattered as my thoughts. Would any of this work? Would they even take him? And if they did agree to take him, would Jacob agree to enroll? And what if he agreed to rehab just to pacify me but really had no intention of cooperating? And what if he cooperated, but it still didn’t work? Or what if this place really wasn’t any good? What if Geoffrey had been right about sending him someplace expensive and “good”? But what if this experience, here today, soured Jacob on going into any form of rehab? It was all too overwhelming. All I could do was to ask God to help. “Please, help us,” I silently prayed. “Help Jacob to get through and beyond this.” It was all I knew to pray I hoped it was enough.
Jacob finally emerged, and it almost looked as if he’d been crying. I wasn’t sure if this was a good sign or not. Marcus Palmer was with him.
“This is quite a guy,” said Marcus, patting Jacob on the back as if he was proud of him.
“I know. How did it go?”
“Would you like to join us in my office?” asked Marcus. “Of course.”
Soon we were all seated in his little office. Jacob looked uncomfortable and more fidgety than ever.
“Do you mind if I speak candidly in front of your mother, Jacob?” asked Marcus.
“Whatever,” Jacob mumbled.
“Well…” Marcus leaned back in his leather chair. “It’s my recommendation that Jacob enroll in the thirty-day residential treatment program.” I nodded. “Yes?”
“He meets all the criteria. He was honest with our counselors, and his lab tests were positive for amphetamines. He seems to be in good general health.” He paused, looking at Jacob. “There’s only one problem.”
“What’s that?” I asked.
He nodded toward Jacob. “He doesn’t think treatment will help him.”
“But that’s not so unusual, is it?” I said. “I mean don’t a lot of, uh, addicts feel like that. Like there’s no way to help them?”
“That’s true enough,” said Marcus. “But we don’t enroll patients who aren’t at least willing to give this their best effort. Otherwise it’s just a waste of everyone’s time and money.” He was looking at Jacob now. “And we do have a waiting list…”
Jacob looked slightly relieved now. “So I’d have to be on a waiting list?”
“Your mother already put you on the list,” explained Marcus. “You could check in today…if you were willing.”
Jacob frowned. “I’m just not ready for this.”
“Why not?” I pleaded.