Discardia_ More Life, Less Stuff - Dinah Sanders [100]
Be honest and true to your loves and learn as much as you can from each other. If you don’t wind up exploring that long good road together, may you transform the tears of loss over what might have been into happy tears as the guests at each other’s weddings when the time comes.
Sometimes the best friends we can have are those who’ve helped us, even painfully, learn what it is that we really need. As his ex-girlfriend Micki Krimmel, founder and CEO of NeighborGoods, said at the wedding of designer Jonathan Grubb to producer, actress, and cellist Kestrin Pantera of the rightness of their union, “I want to be involved in their whatever, forever.”
Love can be bigger than the relationship where it began.
Acknowledge your beginnings and accept when you’ve grown beyond them. Be true to who you’ve become.
Symptom #41: Dreamblindness
Solution #41: Awareness Creates Opportunity
As it turns out, you can say, “Let’s make our lives awesome!” and the Internet will be like “Oh, it’s on.”
—Maggie Mason, publisher and event creator
Dream!
Get together with someone you like and respect and talk about your dreams. These are not necessarily those things your brain does while you sleep, I’m referring to the things for which you've been consciously wishing in the past and lately.
What we're longing for and daydreaming about is very important to who we are. It informs the stories we want told about us when we're gone. Talk with someone today about who you've wanted to become, what turned out, and what you're dreaming of now. Maybe you'll also talk about how to make those current dreams real, but that's not the most important thing today. Just talk, remember, and mull things over. Put some ingredients in your mental soup pot and see what it cooks up after you let it simmer for a week or two.
The life list
One fun way to help awaken your sense of what you’d really love to have in your world is to make a list of 100 things you dream of doing. I, like many, was inspired to make a life list by my friend Maggie “Mighty Girl” Mason, and it has paid off beautifully. Getting those wild ideas out of your head and out where you can see them really does help them happen. Relax. Don’t try to edify yourself as you make your list. Be bold and happy! Dream as big or as little as you want.
Maggie has your back when it comes to any naysaying that may arise: “You may hear a voice in your head saying that something you want is stupid, or too small, or not interesting enough. The voice may insist that your biggest dream will never happen. Why are you hanging out with that voice? That voice is a total dick.”
Writer and photographer Karen Walrond has blogged about creating your life list and offers additional valuable advice: “Under no circumstances should you put something on your list that will make you feel bad about yourself for not completing it. … Your life list should be about adding moments of joy to your life, not about adding moments of guilt.”
Acknowledge the pull you feel toward something, whether it’s “more hot baths!” or “visit the Great Rift Valley in East Africa where our species began.”
Assessment day
Give yourself an assessment day to compare how are things are currently going versus this time last year.
What's changed and what hasn't?
What did you welcome into your life?
What unpleasantness did you discard?
What do you still want to change?
How did you transform your home or your self?
A year is never 100% good, so don't just think about the ups and downs. Give yourself credit for all the little places where you gave your life a nudge toward the life you want to be living. Do a little soul searching. Take a stroll around your house. Balance your checkbook and get a picture of your overall financial situation. Note your progress, your problem areas, and your next steps. When you keep a calm spirit and a clear eye to see things as they really are, you'll be most effective in changing things for the better.
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