Discardia_ More Life, Less Stuff - Dinah Sanders [99]
If you want to get reinspired for letting go of things around your home, take a break from it. Spend some nights somewhere else—ideally more than four—where you can relax. Before you come home, think about what you actually missed; these are the definite “keeper” things. A good place to start discarding would be the junk for which you walk in and say, “Jeez, I forgot I even had that!”
Between these distinct categories, you’ll find that time away leaves you in a clearer mental space to distinguish between that which you keep more as the “Museum of Me” and less as something you use and enjoy now. One of the great patterns of Discardia is “fresh eyes,” or setting something aside long enough (or clearing your thoughts enough) to view it anew, free from habits that have formed around it. Culture shock is a wonderful teacher of this pattern. Whether you travel abroad, or just stay out of your garage or spare room for a few days, take the opportunity to re-view your home, your work, and yourself.
It’s hard to move on from old selves and the old stuff that goes with them. One of the most obvious reasons is the comfort of the familiar. Old things are known and nonthreatening. They may not have any relationship to what you want for yourself now or in the future but simply represent the residue of your past choices. You associate old things with situations you’ve already been through and—apart from getting in your way when you’re looking for something else—they do not challenge you. Old things feel safe because they do not represent a risk of failure. You hang onto old stuff that isn’t part of who you are now to keep from leaving the familiar nest and flying on new wings.
Go beyond getting rid of items that you don't like anymore, to looking at ones you do like but don't use. Ask, "Can I free myself of this?"
While you’re letting go of stale dreams, take a good hard look at the skills you tell yourself you’re supposed to have. Is that to-be list current? Stop kicking yourself for not being good at a skill you no longer want to maintain. Priorities shift and that's okay. Outsource that task.
Celebrate all your selves
You may learn that it’s also time to diversify your habit portfolio. How do you spend most of your day? Are you building some opposites into your free time to keep yourself balanced? If you're getting where you want to be professionally, your day includes lots of things you enjoy and at which you excel, but that doesn't mean you’re necessarily getting all you need.
Stretch out into your full spectrum. Think about your days and about what you might be underemphasizing in your life. For example, if you spend your workday in email, browsers, instant messenger, team meetings, and the occasional presentation to a large group, what's missing? Being outside; not sitting; being away from the web; handling physical objects (other than to-do lists); playing; participating in activities without deadlines; getting mental rest; being aware of your body; creating something completely under your control; reading for pleasure; and writing for pleasure. Find your list of the things that will create balance in your life.
Spend an hour right now doing something to celebrate your whole self. Listen to your heart—and not social norms—when you decide what you most want to do. Let go of trying to conform to someone else's idea of what your taste ought to be. Like what you like! Break out the crayons and color, start up that epic game campaign, practice some skateboard tricks, or launch a kickball league—anything that makes you grin.
Bad guys are optional
As with making room for all of what makes ourselves who we are, loving someone well means making room for each of you to be your best self. Sometimes those selves aren't meant to be together, and that's not always an awful thing. No one has to be