Discardia_ More Life, Less Stuff - Dinah Sanders [71]
Examine your output as if you were the recipient you least want to offend and most want to win over. Is it clear, concise, and well formatted? Share the good stuff, in the right amount, or, as Merlin Mann put it, “You want to see the web as a party where you bring more beer than you drink.”
Connect selectively
No matter what the latest “information overload” panic piece in the news may be telling us, we do have the power to control this and don’t need to be broadsided by it. Technologist and long-time blogger Tom Coates translated all the hype for us: “Shock revelation! A new set of technologies has started to displace older technologies and will continue to do so at a fairly slow rate over the next ten to thirty years!” Put it like that and it doesn’t seem so hard to handle, does it?
We have lots of options in this world and that’s not unexpected or bad; what gets us in trouble is not choosing among them. Be selective about what you want or need to know. Opt out of communication that doesn’t make you feel more like yourself, make your day better, or teach you something you need to learn now.
Symptom #27: Making Nice
Solution #27: Integrity (Integrated)
If you’re not careful time will take away everything that ever hurt you, everything you have ever lost, and replace it with knowledge.
—Charles Yu, author
Draw the line
My dad gave me some good advice: “Getting what we do, and what we say, and what we feel to be about the same is my definition of integrity—integrated—and that is more important than being fair, nice, moral, etc.”
Always be honest with yourself and as much of the time as possible with others. If your gut strongly says “no” to something, find a way to not to have your mouth say “yes.” At the very least, give yourself options with a qualified “yes.”
Let that overdedicated knitter know that, though you love the fact that he takes the time to make you something special, you never seem to wear anything handknit, or else suggest a garment within his skill range that you would wear. When someone asks for help with something and you can tell already that it’s going to snowball into a giant chore, set some limits up front (e.g., “I’m pretty booked right now, but I could give you two hours of help one weekday evening between now and the 15th.”).
Set boundaries for the fun but demanding things. Try bold, new adventures and push yourself in creative ways. Participate in National Novel Writing Month. Try out new crafts. Make improvements on your home. Start up a topical blog. Keep your expectations fun by placing limits (e.g., “I’ll do this for 30 days,” “I'll drop the class if I'm not liking it for the third session in a row,” “I’ll see if I can do this beginner’s project, which is supposed to take about four hours,” or “I’ll replace the curtains, and then think about the rest of the remodeling after I see how that goes”).
Pair big goals with quick wins
When you're going to work on something that's new or tough, here’s a technique that can increase your odds of success. Try balancing the big goal with some small secondary ones in the same territory. They’ll keep you motivated through the long haul on the big goal as you accomplish the easier ones. Though you may not completely change that big situation, you’ll feel good to have checked a couple things off your list along with making a bit of progress by whittling away at the harder goal.
Enrichment
Silicon Valley entrepreneur, author and speaker Rajesh Setty suggested steps that to me epitomize the integrated life:
Commit: Commit to lifetime-relationships that span events, companies, causes and geographic boundaries.
Care: Care for the concerns of others as if they are your own.
Connect: Aim to connect those who will benefit and enrich each other’s lives in equal measure.
Communicate: Communicate candidly. Tell people what they should hear rather than what they want to hear.
Expand Capacity: Aim to expand people’s capacity to help them give and get more from their