Discardia_ More Life, Less Stuff - Dinah Sanders [74]
It’s optional
I am here to tell you that holiday gift buying is optional. It is possible to have a happy family gathering without breaking the bank. You can have a blessed season without shattering your peace of mind. You can make it the season of giving without it being the season of shopping.
You don't have to buy all those presents. Really. Most people don't need more stuff and no one needs more debt. Indeed, in that same 2006 APA survey 47% of respondents cited the pressure of giving or getting gifts as something that causes them stress. (If you’re having trouble thinking of why receiving gifts would be stressful, spend a few minutes browsing whydidyoubuymethat.com and you’ll remember.)
Why put ourselves through this? Most of us in the First World have so much stuff that a pile of presents is no longer exciting or novel. There are lots of alternatives to the holiday shopping madness and many other ways to remind people that you care about them. Something for the kids, sure, but you don't have to break the bank to spread that holiday cheer.
Alternatives to over-gifting
First and foremost, tell them you care. Write them a note, call them on the phone, bump into them at the grocery store—whatever—but just say, “You know, I am so glad to have you in my life.” Maybe suggest a get-together, perhaps after the holidays when things aren't so busy. Even if you only let them know that you appreciate them, you can be giving something much greater than a hastily selected present.
When you do want to give a gift, there are many kinds that won't strain your credit or leave you frazzled:
Cooked things that you actually enjoy making. My friend, librarian Kristin Garrity, makes the most wonderful holiday cookies, but the best part is the conversation we have while I'm nibbling on those tasty treats from her kitchen.
Homemade gift certificates for future fun together. I have had tremendous fun making up little books of these certificates for someone special. Each one becomes a shared dream of a good time I want us to have together. The words “A walk in the woods with the smell of damp earth and redwoods and the sound of the wind in the treetops” are already something special, made even better when you both make the time to make the dream real.
Mix CDs or playlists (of music or photos). I’ve been introduced to lots of great music and visuals this way, by both family and friends. Okay, maybe I wind up spending some of that money I saved on gifts buying the albums with a song I particularly liked; however, every time I hear that music, I think of the person who first shared their fondness for it with me.
Donations to charities (monetary or, if you have more hours than cash, your time in honor of someone else). My grandmother’s tradition was to give us Heifer Project gifts, which meant that we got all the amusement of receiving a goat without the actual “goat in the house” part.
Memories. One year, my family “unwrapped” memories. Everyone took turns at telling a favorite memory of each other person. Those stories reminded us of what we treasure about each other and it was a lovely way to spend time together.
When gift giving, try to create an opportunity for the recipient rather than giving a thing. How can you free this person for joyful engagement?
Even low-stress families benefit from less holiday hoopla
I’m one of the lucky ones. My family is not by any stretch of the imagination a high-pressure one. Phrases like “Well, I need a little me time, so I’m going to go read for a bit” or “I think I’ll take a nap” are often heard and accepted without causing tension.
As family holidays go,