Doctor Who_ The Forgotten Army - Brian Minchin [3]
He held his sonic screwdriver up to Amy, so she could see the row of flashing lights.
'Do I look like a dolphin?' Amy demanded. 'What does that mean for those of us that can't decipher sonic technology?'
The Doctor grinned. 'It means I was right!' He spun on the spot, scanning Times Square with the sonic screwdriver.
'There's a place I've always wanted to go, dreamed of it, hoped for it, but I've been constantly disappointed, always losing track. I've leapt through constellations and danced around black holes just to get the name of this place. And it's been here all along! Don't you just love New York? You never know what you're going to find!'
Amy held up her hand. 'Whoa there! What are you talking about?'
'I've just picked up a very special signal,' the Doctor explained. He twirled his sonic screwdriver in his hand. 'And what it confirms is that there's
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a restaurant here that will one day be the most famous in all of the galaxy. In the 208th century, people are so obsessed with it they travel back through time from all over the galaxy to eat there. Well, I say people... Anything with less than four stomachs travels to eat here at least once a lifetime. It's renowned as the best meal you will ever have. Will have had.
Had ever having. Sorry, time travel tenses, they're very confusing. Just stick with me. This is the most famous food in the galaxy and people spend a lifetime of savings to make the trip. And we've landed in the perfect vintage. The Ood Food Guide gave June 2010 a whole solar system of awards. Good old TARDIS!'
The Doctor patted the side of the police box and clicked his fingers. With barely a whirr, the TARDIS faded from sight.
The Doctor saw Amy's expression and quickly reassured her. 'I've just left it a few seconds ahead of us. I'll get it back when it's time to leave. No point confusing people.'
Amy couldn't help but be caught up in the Doctor's enthusiasm. 'So is this what we do then? Sometimes we save the world; other times we're like space tourists.'
'Yep. But we're the best sort. We don't, you know, stay up all night and go starting fights. Actually, who am I kidding, we're the worst sort...' Marching off, the Doctor led Amy into a busy side street. 'And just
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look at the queue. Barely a human amongst them.'
Sure enough, the anonymous alley was packed with very strangely shaped people.
'Are they really aliens? In the middle of New York?' Amy asked. 'They just look sort o f . . . American to me.'
The Doctor nodded. 'It's not a problem, they're very well behaved. Not like the French. Look, no pushing at all.' As they walked along the queue, he started pointing out individuals.
'Now, the one in the trench coat is a Judoon. The one that looks like three people standing on top of each other is a Graske. The girl in the shades and the hairy chin? Cat person! Very naughty coming here, but, hey -when the food is this good, you can't blame her, can you?'
Amy joined in. 'My turn! Look, that hideous man there, kind of horrible droopy face and weirdy eyes, that's got to be something - maybe a mutant from Mars. Or you know, a giant space slug or something?'
'Shh!' The Doctor leaned in close to Amy. "That's Kenny, nice guy, works in the Post Office. Don't worry, I'm sure he gets compared to aliens all the time!'
They followed the queue down the alley and turned into a big open courtyard. The Doctor stopped. 'Smell that, Amy!'
The food smelt like crisp onions, frying chips 18
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and sizzling meat.
'This is the holy grail of food! I never quite thought it would happen, but now here we are!'
As the assorted people stood aside, Amy could see where they were heading. She was expecting to see something like the Ritz, all marble and glitz. Instead, the Doctor was heading for a battered old trolley, where a weary-looking man was flipping burgers behind a row of brightly coloured sauces. Pinned behind him was a giant sign: 'Big Paulie's Sausages'.
Amy was