Doctor Who_ The Forgotten Army - Brian Minchin [4]
The Doctor was too excited to answer. 'Oh, isn't this just brilliant! Look at everyone here! All so happy.'
He pointed at a large table of what looked like seagulls in duffel coats. 'Where they come from, they've been at war for five hundred years, but they're barely waving a fork at each other here. If one thing is going to save the universe, it's one of Big Paulie's Sausage-Burgers.'
Sitting on tables laid out on the sidewalk, the disguised aliens sighed with pleasure as they tasted the famous burgers. At one table, a family of Haemo-Goths spat into the air as a sign of their appreciation, long tongues flickering in and out.
"They have a restaurant in the Luxury Zone of the Ruby Solar System where they cook everything 19
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in liquid nitrogen. When you put it in your mouth it foams right up inside your nose. Smells delicious. Tastes a bit like bogies. But never mind that. This is all about The Burgers! Do you ever get that feeling where you'd do anything for a burger? And right here, right now is the very best place in history to get a burger. Of course there's a twelve-year waiting list, just to eat one. But I have come prepared.'
Amy looked at the Doctor, unimpressed. 'You rang ahead?'
The Doctor shook his head. 'Nope. You'll like this. I've bought the street. In your name! As the owner, you get free burgers for life. I recommend the Doctor Burger. It's like a cheeseburger but with extra bacon, sausage and steak. And a bit of chicken, I think. No ketchup though. Absolutely banned. Yucky stuff.'
Amy thought this was a good time to assert herself. 'OK, Doctor. But after this, we go shopping, yeah? No running off, no flirting with 500-year-olds.'
I was just being friendly!'
'And this time, if we find a hot man in uniform, he's coming with us. That's not a problem, is it?'
Straightening his bow tie, the Doctor turned to Amy and opened his mouth to reply. Then something grabbed his attention. 'Oooh, that's interesting...' He gazed over Amy's shoulder into the distance.
Amy waved a hand in front of his face. 'Hey!
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Don't drift off, just when you're about to agree with me!'
The Doctor was suddenly serious. 'Amy, everyone in Times Square has just stopped. Do you know how often that happens?
That never happens...'
Looking around them, Amy could see the humans in the queue answering their phones, and all turning to look up the alley.
The Doctor grabbed Amy's hand and ran back up the alleyway into an almost silent Times Square.
I bet you weren't so grumpy when you were here before.'
A thought crossed Amy's mind. 'Did you come here with another girl?'
The Doctor smiled. 'Don't look at me like that, Pond.
You've been on other dates; I've been to other New Yorks. And this isn't a date, before you ask, and neither was the other time, sorry, times, and I choose to look at it, at like - Oooh! What is happening up there?'
On the massive digital screen above them, a headline scrolled in bold red capitals: CHAOS AT THE MUSEUM.
On every screen in Times Square, the same three-second burst of action was playing over and over again: a frenzied white mammoth leaping off a stand, turning its head and roaring at a terrified and cowering man in a bright white jacket.
All around them, people were staring open-mouthed at the screens.
The Doctor was smiling, struggling to hide his 21
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excitement. 'Now that is more like it! The burgers can wait!'
'That poor man!' Amy cried. 'Look how scared he looks.'
Up on the screens, live CCTV camera footage showed that the Museum had emptied of people, but one man remained. It was the man in the distinctive white blazer, and he was vainly trying to hook a velvet rope around the mammoth's leg.
'That's either very brave or very stupid,' the Doctor remarked. 'And it'll never work. We'd better get a move on.' He took Amy's hand and led her across the road.
'How do you know the way?' Amy asked as they started to run up Broadway.
'In an emergency, always head for the helicopters...'