Doctor Who_ The Last Dodo - Jacqueline Rayner [9]
The Doctor nodded. ‘Well, yes, you could do that,’ he said. ‘Or you could accept that we are innocent and let us help. You see, I happened to notice the Black Rhino as we were being escorted here. It was still there, and still very much alive if far from what I would call well.’
‘And you expect me to accept your word for that?’
‘Oh, come on – the Black Rhinoceros is twelve feet long and weighs three thousand pounds.’ He flung open his suit jacket. ‘Search my pockets! Look up my sleeves! If I were wearing a hat you could check under that! And if you’re still not convinced, and if you ask nicely, you can even pat down the sides of my legs to check there’s not a rhinoceros sewn into the turn‐ups of my trousers.’
Eve opened her mouth to speak, but the Doctor started again, gesturing at the guards. ‘What’s more, considering the absence of one rhino would leave one fairly big empty space, I think your bully boys here would have noticed if its cage was empty when we wandered past on our way out.’
Nervously, the guard with the squashed nose spoke, one hand still massaging his face. ‘I saw the rhino,’ he said.
The Doctor beamed at him. ‘Well observed, that generic guard! Case closed.’
Martha suddenly had an idea. ‘Besides,’ she said. ‘We’ve actually been sent here to help investigate these… disappearances, and we can prove it.’ She stared hard at the pocket where she knew the Doctor kept his psychic paper, hoping he’d get the hint.
‘Oh, yes!’ he agreed, giving her an appreciative smile and diving into his jacket pocket. ‘One set of proof, coming up.’
The Doctor handed over the psychic paper. Martha didn’t know how it would appear to Eve, but it would reflect whatever suited the situation best – some sort of identity card or official authorisation.
Or so she thought.
‘Is this some kind of trick?’ asked Eve, turning the little wallet over in her hands. ‘It’s blank.’
Ah.
She held it out in front of her. The Doctor, looking just slightly worried, went to take it back, but Tommy intercepted it. He glanced down and then frowned. ‘Hang on! This says you’re undercover agents with the Galactic Wildlife Trust.’ He looked at Eve, confused.
‘That’s right!’ beamed a relieved Doctor. ‘Undercover, that’s us. In fact, we’re under so much cover that even our authorisation papers are shielded in secrecy sometimes.’ He snicked the psychic paper out of the man’s hand and shoved it back in his pocket before Eve could ask to have a second look. ‘So! Now all that’s settled, and after these gentlemen have put down their weapons, which I’m anticipating will happen in the very near future, let’s get on with some investigating. That’s what they pay us for, right, Agent Jones?’
‘Right. Yeah, of course.’
Eve didn’t seem precisely happy, but nodded. ‘Very well.’
‘We could do with all the help we can get!’ said Tommy, smiling at Martha. She smiled back. When he wasn’t close to tears, he had a very jolly face.
Martha tried to think about the sort of things an investigator would say under these circumstances. ‘I’m surprised you haven’t set up CCTV cameras,’ she tried, adding a bit of disdain to her voice to show the near‐arrest hadn’t really worried her a bit. ‘You know, to keep an eye on things.’
Eve looked at her pityingly. ‘We have almost 300 billion species in the Earth section,’ she replied. ‘Remotely monitoring each one is scarcely practical. We have to rely on movement sensors.’
Martha felt crushed. ‘Yeah, but, even so,’ she managed.
The Doctor grinned at her. ‘Nice try,’ he mouthed.
Reassured, she set back her shoulders and had another go. ‘Then maybe we should visit the scene of the crime,’ she said. ‘Er, again. Without anyone arresting us, I mean.’
‘A very good idea, Agent Jones,’ said the Doctor. ‘Better start earning some of that enormous salary that our employers remunerate us with.’
‘I’ll give you the guided tour,’ Tommy announced. ‘Earth’s my beat.’
‘You’re a tour guide?’ Martha asked him.