Doctor Who_ The Romans - Donald Cotton [19]
- although, of course, he could promise nothing, it all depending on what sort of mood His Nibs was in...
I had already noted that whereas some of the lions were asleep and appeared amiable enough, there were one or two which were manifestly of a more irritable disposition, and gnawing on dry bones in angry anticipation of feeding time. I was, therefore, about to reject this alternative, when my attention was caught by Delos doing his press-ups, and now I am not so sure!
I must obviously give the matter my earnest consideration in the few hours remaining to me; and meanwhile remain your always optimistic, but probably doomed ‘Stinks Tutor’!
Ian Chesterton
DOCUMENT XVII
Second Extract from the Commonplace Book of Poppea Sabina
An air of intrigue broods over this damn’ palace like a pall, and I find it increasingly difficult to get on with the housework. Even to bring this little note-book up to date requires more time than I can really spare from keeping my wits about me, and ensuring that I am not imposed upon or murdered in some way. But it must, of course, be done; or future generations will never know the most secret thoughts and private fears of a very young Empress, who is only trying to meet her responsibilities under increasingly difficult and vexing circumstances. Heigh-ho!
Today, for instance, I was on my way to meet just one of these responsibilities - a centurion in whom I have been taking a semi-professional interest - when I noticed that the statue of Venus in the foyer had been damaged, probably beyond repair, by the loss of both its arms! A girl with less reason to be suspicious might have attributed the damage to the carelessness of a house-maid while dusting; but the matter is not to be so simply explained. No, it has often been remarked by my admirers that the sculpture bears a striking resemblance to me; which not only accounts for its value, but makes me tremble to suspect the damage is a barely concealed threat of violence pending to my person.
I therefore reeled against the wall in an agony of apprehension, as one does at such times; and while thus engaged was horrified to feel beneath my little hands, as they fluttered about and clutched at the priceless tapestries, the well-known outline of a human form!
Dragging aside the draperies, with what intimations of mortality I leave you, gentle reader, to imagine, I discovered the bleeding body of the very centurion to whom I had promised half an hour before dinner; and surely these two closely associated mishaps cannot be mere coincidence?
This brutal and abrupt cancellation of my assignation left me, as you can imagine, not only all of a tremble but in a temper too, for I had not as yet quite finished with the wretched man; and it was therefore in a mood of some tantrum and termagence that I hurried at once to the chamber of Locusta, the palace poisoner, whose services have so often been of some assistance to me. For if, as I could only be almost certain, my husband were behind these twin outrages, then it was my intention to show him that two could play at that game, by instantly securing the destruction of Barbara, the new slave-girl he fancies he fancies – and let that be a lesson to him!
Locusta was busy about her cauldron as usual; and although she received me politely enough – as what else could she do, I would like to know, my being Empress and all? – I thought I detected an evasive strain in her cracked and quavering tones as she told me that just now she was up to here in orders!
‘Oh, and from whom?’ I demanded, as imperiously as my distraite condition would allow.
‘Why, dearie,’ she told me, ‘from your lovely husband, of course. You know he’s got this banquet on tomorrow,