Don Quixote_ Translation by Edith Grossman (HarperCollins) - Miguel De Cervantes Saavedra [463]
Your friend,
DON QUIXOTE OF LA MANCHA
Sancho listened very attentively to the letter, and it was considered and held to be very wise by all who heard it; then Sancho got up from the table, called the secretary, went with him to his room, and without further delay wished to respond immediately to his master Don Quixote; and he told the secretary that without adding or taking away anything, he was to write down what he dictated, and the secretary did; the letter of reply said the following:
LETTER FROM SANCHO PANZA TO DON QUIXOTE OF LA MANCHA
I’ve been so busy with my affairs that I don’t have time to scratch my head or even to cut my nails, and so I’m wearing them too long, God help me. I say this, dear master of my soul, so that your grace won’t be surprised that I haven’t told you anything until now about whether I’m faring well or badly in this governorship, where I’m hungrier than when the two of us were wandering through the forests and the wild places.
My lord the duke wrote to me the other day, saying that certain spies had entered the ínsula to kill me, and so far I haven’t discovered any except for a certain doctor who is in this place on salary to kill all the governors who come here: his name is Dr. Pedro Recio, and he comes from Tirteafuera, and now your grace can see what a name he has and whether or not I should be afraid of dying at his hands! And this doctor says about himself that he doesn’t cure diseases when they’ve arrived but prevents them so they won’t come, and the medicines he uses are diet and more diet until the person’s nothing but skin and bones, as if being skinny weren’t a worse ailment than having a fever. In short, he’s starving me to death, and I’m dying of despair because I thought I’d come to this governorship and have hot food and cold drinks, and please my body with linen sheets and featherbeds, but I’ve come to do penance, like a hermit, and since I’m not doing it willingly, I think the devil will take me in the end.
So far I haven’t touched a fee or taken a bribe, and I can’t think what it means because they’ve told me here that people give or lend a good deal of money to the governors who usually come to this ínsula, even before they arrive, and that this is common practice for everybody who takes a governorship, not only this one.
Last night, when I was on patrol, I came across a very beautiful maiden in a man’s clothes, and her brother who was dressed as a woman; my butler fell in love with the girl and chose her in his mind to be his wife, according to what he has told me, and I chose the boy to be my son-in-law; today we’ll put our thoughts into practice with their father, whose name is Diego de la Llana, a gentleman and as old a Christian as you could wish.
I visit the market squares, as your grace advises, and yesterday I found a marketwoman who was selling fresh hazelnuts, and I saw that she had mixed a fanega2 of fresh hazelnuts with a fanega of ones that were old, worthless, and rotten; I took them all for the boys in catechism class, who’ll know very well how to tell them apart, and I ordered her not to come to the market square for two weeks. People told me it was a good thing to do; what I can tell your grace is that in this village they say there are no people worse than marketwomen, because they’re all shameless, hardhearted, and bold, and I believe it because I’ve seen them in other villages.
I’m very happy that my lady the duchess has written to Teresa Panza, my wife, and sent her the present your grace has mentioned, and I’ll try to show my gratitude at the right time: your grace should kiss her hands on my behalf, saying that I say she hasn’t thrown anything into a torn sack, as my actions will prove.
I wouldn’t want your grace to have any unpleasant disputes with my