Dude, Where's My Country_ - Michael Moore [78]
I think there is a way to turn this around, to convert that brother-in-law of yours.
Now, you might say, “Whoa, wait a minute—I’m not into missionary work! Not if it means I have to walk among these cretins!”
But don’t you want to see change—real, lasting progressive change—in your lifetime? Don’t you want to pull the rug out from under this supposedly conservative movement that infects our Congress with so many Republicans? Don’t you wanna have a little fun?
I’m not talking about trying to change the minds of the terminally bigoted. This is not about trying to win over the lunatic right. They’re already too far gone. And frankly, they’re too small to worry about.
I’m referring to the people you know and, yes, love. They take good care of their kids, they keep their houses fixed up nice, they volunteer at the church—and they always, incredibly, vote Republican. You can’t figure it out. If he seems to be a good guy, why does he align himself with the party of Atila the Hun?
Here’s my theory: I don’t believe these people really are Republicans. They are just using a word they heard because the word was associated with tradition, common sense, and saving money. So they stuck the label on themselves. After all, who was the first Republican you heard about in history class? Honest Abe Lincoln—the guy good enough to be on the penny AND the five dollar bill! Plus, he got you a day off from school.
These people are, in truth, Republican In Name Only—RINOs. Ask them a series of questions: Do you want a clean environment? Would you live in a neighborhood with black people? Do you believe in going to war to resolve our differences with others? Most of the time they will not give the standard Republican answers. I have a friend who refers to herself as a Republican, but when I ask her if women should be paid as much as men, she responds, “We should be paid more!” When I ask her if people should be allowed to dump waste into the lake where she lives, she reminds me that she sits on the board of the local nature preserve. When I ask her how her mutual fund is doing since she was able to get rid of “That Liar Clinton,” she says, “Don’t ask.”
So, I say to her, if Bush has driven the economy into the ground and cost you untold thousands of dollars, if the Republicans want to make it easier for people to dump shit into your lake, and if you think you should have the same rights as men—then why on earth do you call yourself a Republican?!
“Because the Democrats will raise my taxes,” she responds, without missing a beat.
That is the RINO mantra. Even though these “Republicans” clearly do not believe in much of the Republican platform, and they know the Republicans will make many parts of their lives more miserable, they hold on to that Republican label because of just one thing: They think the Democrats are out to steal their hard-earned money.
As I’ve said, I believe we live in a liberal-majority nation, but if we really want to pull off a slam dunk of permanent change, we need to bring a few million of these RINOs over to our side. They are waiting there, wanting to jump the fence—just as long as they can take their money with them.
I’ve come up with a bunch of suggestions for how we can enlarge our majority by reaching out to our RINO friends and relatives. Some of these will require a bit of humility on your part. Many of them, I’m convinced, will work. It’s time to raid the conservative right of this vast pool of soft support they have enjoyed for far too long.
At the very least, following my suggestions will lead to a much more peaceful Thanksgiving dinner:
1. First and foremost, assure your conservative friends or relatives that you do