Dude, Where's My Country_ - Michael Moore [87]
I also believe the country is ready for a black president. We’ve already got one on TV on 24, one of the most-watched shows on Fox. Then there was Morgan Freeman as president in Deep Impact (and the last time I saw him, he was playing God in Bruce Almighty!). Hollywood wouldn’t make a black man God if they thought that it couldn’t play in Pittsburgh. And 12 million Americans in 2003 cast their votes for our next “American Idol” for a black man, Ruben Studdard.
Whether it’s the 2004 election, or ones to come, we need to find fresh candidates who can kick some Republican butt. The assumption is that a presidential candidate has to be a senator or a governor. If a candidate isn’t a professional politician, but is a citizen like Al Sharpton, no one will give him the time of day (though Sharpton has said some of the most lucid—and hilarious—things in this campaign).
What we need now is a Bushwhacker! Someone who is already so beloved by the American people that, come Inauguration Day 2005, we’ll be liberated from The Smirk. Someone who is our Reagan, an already well-known figure who will lead with his or her heart and pick the right people to do the day-to-day work.
Who is this person who could lead us to the promised land?
Her name is Oprah.
OPRAH!
That’s right, Oprah Winfrey.
Oprah could beat Bush. Hands down. C’mon—you know she could! America loves her. She’s got good politics, she’s got a good heart, and she’d have us all up at six in the morning jazzercising! This cannot be a bad thing. And she’d get us all reading a book a month! (“Good evening. This is your president. This month we are all going to read Brave New World.”) How cool would that be?
Here’s another plus—Oprah can’t be bought. She’s already a billionaire! Imagine a president who owes no favors to lobbyists or oil companies or Ken Lay. She only answers to Steadman! And us! With a salary of only $400,000 a year in the White House, being president would certainly be a step down for Oprah, but it be would okay with me if she were president and she kept her show on the air. Every afternoon at 4 p.m., broadcast live from the East Room of the White House, we could watch President Oprah with an audience of average Americans talking about what they are going through, how they are in need of this or that—with Oprah there to help them. Except, unlike her current show from Chicago, Oprah at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue could actually fix people’s problems right then and there. Can’t pay the bills? President Oprah orders the arrest of credit card executives who charge outrageous interest rates. Your kids acting up again? Not after they get hauled into the Oval Office for a good talking to. Your husband no longer paying attention to you? Maybe he will after his mug ends up on the post office wall on a “Men Who Don’t Shut Up and Listen” poster.
I have been on Oprah three times. I’ve seen firsthand how the average citizen responds to her. Men and women of all races connect to her. She’s like Bruce Springsteen, Mother Teresa, and Princess Di all rolled into one. I saw grown adults break down and sob after being able to shake her hand. Why this response? I think it’s because Oprah is a real person who is not afraid to say what she wants to say and be who she wants to be. She’s one of us who somehow made it. We like it when someone from our team wins! Her whole thing is about “I’m trying to do my best. I have my ups and downs, but I get up every day and give life another go.”
Oprah’s campaign to encourage people to perform simple acts of kindness—and the ripple effect those good deeds can create—is just one example of her belief in the power of the individual to change the world.
Now, this may all sound like a bunch of sappy nonsense to the cynics among you, but, hey—nothing else has worked! Why not try a new path? Why not go with someone who really cares about people? Someone who tries to help the common woman or man have it a bit easier today, just today, in a world that is increasingly cruel, complicated, and empty.