Empress Orchid - Anchee Min [101]
“Carry on?” he asked.
Nuharoo nodded.
“Zah! ” The eunuch took a step back as he finished his bow. He grabbed my collar and ordered his people, “In the manner of Woo Hua, the Flower—rope!”
I was dragged out. Suddenly I felt warm fluid dripping from between my legs. I held my belly and cried.
It was then that I heard a long wail from the far end of the hall.
“Still and silence!”
Emperor Hsien Feng lunged between Chief Eunuch Shim and me. He was in his light yellow silk robe. His nostrils flared. His eyes were filled with rage. The breathless An-te-hai stood behind him.
Chief Eunuch Shim went to greet His Majesty, but he received no response.
Nuharoo rose from her chair. “Your Majesty, thank you so much for coming to release me.” She threw herself at the Emperor’s feet. “I can’t bear this anymore. I can’t make myself order Lady Yehonala’s punishment knowing that she is carrying your child.”
Emperor Hsien Feng stood frozen for a moment. He then bent down, both of his arms reaching out. “My Empress,” he called softly. “Rise, please.”
Nuharoo wouldn’t rise. “I am an unfit Empress, and I deserve punishment,” she said, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Please forgive me for failing to perform my duty.”
“You are the most merciful person I have ever known,” the Emperor responded. “Orchid is very fortunate to have you as a sister.”
I lay on the ground. An-te-hai helped me to sit on my heels. The warm fluid between my legs seemed to have stopped. When Hsien Feng looked to see whether I was truly hurt, I could see him concluding that An-te-hai had exaggerated.
His Majesty told Nuharoo that she had done nothing wrong. He took out his handkerchief and passed it to her. “I didn’t mean to burden you with responsibilities. However, you must understand that the Im perial household needs a ruler, and it is you. Please, Nuharoo, you have my deepest trust and gratitude.”
Nuharoo rose and bowed to the Emperor. She passed back his handkerchief and took a towel from Chief Eunuch Shim. She patted her cheeks with the towel and said, “I am concerned that the baby has been strained because of this. I will not be able to face our ancestors if there is any damage.” Again she broke into tears. At this, Emperor Hsien Feng offered to accompany her to the Imperial park in the afternoon to help her regain her composure.
It was hard to watch the way His Majesty showed his affection for Nuharoo. And it was harder to spend the night alone knowing that Hsien Feng was with her. The possibilities of what might have happened, and what might happen in the future, scared me more than any nightmare.
I lived in a world of chaos where torture was a routine practice. I began to understand why so many concubines became obsessed with religion. It was either that or complete madness.
I was enduring the worst winter of my life. It was mid-February of 1856. My belly was now the size of a watermelon. Against An-te-hai’s advice, I stepped out onto the frosted ground. I wanted to visit my garden and longed to breathe fresh air. The beauty of the snow-covered pavilions and pagodas brought me a delighted feeling of hope. In only a few months the baby would be born.
I attempted to dig into the soil, but the ground was still hard. An-te-hai brought a large sack of flower bulbs from the past year and said to me, “Plant a wish for the baby, my lady.”
I could tell he had been sleeping soundly, for his cheeks were apple red.
“Of course,” I said.
It took us the whole day to plant the bulbs. I thought about the farmers in the countryside and imagined the families working to break the frozen soil.
“If you are to be a son,” I said, placing a hand on my belly, “and if you ever get to be the Emperor of China, I wish you to be good and deserving.”
“A-ko! ” The moment I heard An-te-hai