Empress Orchid - Anchee Min [100]
I motioned toward the door, and my ladies raised the curtain. As I stepped out into the light, I saw Chief Eunuch Shim standing in the courtyard.
He was formally dressed in a purple robe and matching hat. He didn’t respond to my greeting.
“What’s going on, Chief Shim?” I asked.
“The rule forbids me to speak to you, Lady Yehonala.” He tried to sound humble, but there was hidden elation in his tone. “Please, let me help you into your palanquin.”
A tightness wrapped itself around my neck.
Looking down from her throne, Nuharoo was majestic. I got down on my knees and kowtowed to her. Only weeks had passed since we had last seen each other, and it seemed that her beauty had grown even more striking. She was dressed in a golden robe embroidered with phoenixes. She wore heavy makeup. A drop of red was painted on her lower lip. Her large double-lidded eyes seemed brighter than usual. I couldn’t tell whether it was from the moisture of her tears or an effect of her dark eyeliner.
“I don’t appreciate the fact that you made me do this,” she said. Without offering me permission to rise, she continued. “Anyone knows I am not made to bear a moment like this. Yet it is the irony of life. As the one who is responsible for the household, I am given no choice. My duty calls me to dispense justice. The rule has been made clear to everybody in the Forbidden City: no one has the right to mistreat a maid, not to mention take her life.”
Suddenly she lowered her chin. She bit her lip and began to weep. Soon she was sobbing.
“Your Majesty,” Chief Eunuch Shim said, “the whips have been soaked and the slaves are ready to perform their duty.”
Nuharoo nodded. “Lady Yehonala, on your way, please!”
Taking a long, thick whip from his assistant, Shim made a deep bow to the Empress and then exited the room.
Guards came from four sides and locked their hands on me.
I resisted. “I am carrying Emperor Hsien Feng’s child!”
Chief Eunuch Shim returned and twisted my arms behind me. My knees buckled and I fell. My belly swung to the floor.
On my knees I crawled to Nuharoo and begged. “I am truly sorry about what happened to Little Cloud, Your Majesty, but it was an accident. If you have to punish me, please do so after I give birth. I’ll accept any term of imprisonment.”
Nuharoo cracked a smile. Her expression frightened me. The smile told me that it was her wish that I should lose the baby, and that she could restore harmony between us only at that price. I was sure she knew that I wouldn’t give in, knew that she had to force me, knew that she was backed by all the concubines. She wanted me to know that her will was strong and that she could not be denied.
We stared at each other. Between us was a naked understanding.
“I play fair, Lady Yehonala, and that’s all,” Nuharoo said almost gently. “I can assure you that there is nothing personal.”
“On the frame!” Chief Eunuch Shim called.
The guards swept me up like a hen.
“Your Majesty Empress Nuharoo above,” I cried, struggling to free myself. “As your slave I know my crime. Undeserving as I am, I beg you to pity me. I have begun telling this child in my belly that you are his true mother. You are his destiny. The reason this child will come through me is to reach you. Take pity on this child, Empress Nuharoo, for it will be your child.”
I hit my forehead on the ground. The thought of losing my child felt worse than losing my own life. “Nuharoo, please, give him a chance to love you, my elder sister. I’ll come back in the next life to be anything you desire. I’ll be the skin of your drum, a paper for you to wipe your behind, a worm for your fish hook …”
Chief Eunuch