Empress Orchid - Anchee Min [68]
On top of me he groaned, murmuring words I didn’t understand. I couldn’t believe that the expected pain was not taking place. My body welcomed its intruder.
Emperor Hsien Feng struggled as if performing a difficult task.
I was awkward too. Sticking up my behind was not part of the fan dance. We were like two monkeys exploring ways to settle ourselves. Eventually I was exhausted and lay down on my back. His face appeared above me. His sweat dripped into my mouth. I arched my rib cage and stuck out my breasts.
“Keep going,” he cried as his breath came to a halt.
I could hear my own thought: Apply what you learned at the House of Lotus! But I was unable to move my behind. I fumbled and flipped and was on my stomach.
Hsien Feng sprawled himself on me like a blanket. I felt so surprisingly at home that I wept.
His movements had a rhythm. The lines from an opera came into my head: Cease yearning for the future, my love, for sun will not be brighter and day will not be happier … Pleasure grew and gradually seized me.
The Son of Heaven whispered between breaths. I was not sure if I heard the word “seeds.”
Before dawn he wanted more. It was then that I had a chance to try my fan dance. I was curious about the effect. It worked. His Majesty praised me as magical. He especially appreciated my calling him “love” in the midst of passion, rather than “Your Majesty.”
For the next few nights I continued to be summoned. My lover was amazed that he was repeatedly able to plant his seeds. Indulging himself, he begged me to explore. I became anxious about the Grand Empress. She would accuse me of keeping him all to myself, of robbing her of grandchildren “counted in the hundreds.” The pleasure of love made us stay up all night. His Majesty held me close. My energy seemed inexhaustible, and I let myself be carried away again and again.
In the mornings we looked at each other as if we had been lovers for years.
“‘Magpie Bridge,’” His Majesty uttered one day. “It is the most beautiful tale I have ever heard. The Imperial tutors would never have taught it to me. My head has been stuffed only with rubbish. My studies have been limited to pictures of a broken empire. The lessons never made sense to me. How could all be lost when every emperor has been wise? The tutors could never explain how we have come to owe so much to those who have stolen from us.”
I listened attentively.
“The tutors told me that my mission in life was revenge,” he continued. “So I was taught hatred. They threatened that I would be given no place in the temple of my ancestors if I didn’t perform my duty. My duty is to restore the map of China. But how can I possibly achieve that? China is torn and I am sent to do battle without weapons! This is what my life is about: to be humiliated by barbarians.”
He made me feel that I was his friend. Then one night he asked, “What would you like me to grant you?”
“I don’t want to say ‘to see you again,’ but I am afraid that I am beginning to desire that.” I tried to take hold of myself, but my tears betrayed me.
“Orchid, don’t be distressed. I have the power to give you anything.”
My heart took comfort in his promise, but my head warned me not to trust his words in a moment of passion. I told myself that tomorrow another concubine would be sent. Another concubine who was as desperate as I was; another concubine who had also offered her life savings to Chief Eunuch Shim.
By the time the sun rose I was back in the Palace of Concentrated Beauty. After washing, I stepped out of the room into the garden.
The weather was clear and the sun bright. The roses and magnolias were just beginning to bloom. In the courtyard, dozens of birdcages hung from the branches of trees. At this hour the eunuchs came to train the Imperial birds. The birds were from all over the country. After a period of training, the best would be sent to Emperor Hsien Feng. He