Eternally Yours - Brenda Jackson [39]
Syneda’s expression saddened. “There were two generations of Walters women who allowed men to feed them lines. I was determined not to follow in their footsteps and become a third.”
She took a deep breath before continuing. “When I was ten, my mother caught a rare form of pneumonia and had to be hospitalized.”
“Did you stay with your grandmother while your mother was in the hospital?” Clayton asked, pulling her closer into his arms.
“No, by that time, my grandmother had died. There was a lady my mother knew, another nurse name Clara Boyd who kept me. They weren’t exactly close friends but she was a coworker who agreed to take me in while my mom got better. The only thing was my mom never got better. She died in the hospital.”
A tender, pained smile came into Syneda’s features. “The really sad thing is that she died still very much in love with my father. And for some reason, she died believing that he still loved her, too, and that he was deserving of both her love and trust. I don’t understand how and why she could believe such a thing because he never came to see us.”
Syneda quivered slightly. “For as long as I live, I’ll never forget the day Clara took me to see Mom in the hospital. She had lost a lot of weight and I kept thinking how different she looked. She could barely talk but I remember her telling me that my father would be coming for me. She said Clara had already called him and he had agreed to come for me. She said he would love me and take good care of me.”
Clayton stroked her shoulder gently. “What happened?”
Syneda lifted her head slightly to look at Clayton. The hurt, pain and tears in her eyes made his insides ache. “He never came. After my mom’s funeral, I waited and waited but he never came. Even after the authorities turned me over to Mama Nora because I didn’t have any other family, and Clara didn’t want the responsibility of taking care of me, I still believed he would come. I believed it because my mom believed. She died believing it, so I figured she couldn’t be wrong. I remember waking up each day at Mama Nora’s thinking that this would be the day. Sometimes for hours, I would stand by my bedroom window watching and waiting. But he never came.”
Clayton’s hands tightened around her and he pulled her closer into his arms, silently cursing the man who had caused her so much pain. “Why did he tell Clara he would come if he had no intention of doing so?”
“I found out the truth later. Mama Nora and Poppa Paul told me the entire story years later when they thought I was old enough to handle it. Evidently the authorities questioned Clara, and she admitted to lying to my mom. She had called the man as my mother had asked her to do, but according to Clara, he had denied being my father. Clara said she didn’t have the heart to tell my mother what he’d said, so she let her die believing I would be taken care of.”
“What about the authorities? Couldn’t they pursue it before making you a ward of the state? Evidently, Clara had this man’s name and phone number, surely there was something they could do.”
“Possibly, but they didn’t get the chance to question Clara any further. I understand not long after my mom died, she quit her job at the hospital and moved to another city without leaving a forwarding address.”
“So you still don’t know who your father is?”
“No, and as far as I’m concerned, Clayton, I never had a father.”
Her eyes closed momentarily, and when her lashes lifted again, her eyes revealed deep inner pain. “That period in my life was very difficult. It was during that time that Lorren and I became the very best of friends. She would stand by the window and wait with me every day, and then later when I found out the truth, that my father wasn’t coming, her being there made a very painful time easy for me. And then I had Mama Nora and her husband Papa Paul. They were also there for me. One day Papa Paul explained to me that part of growing up was accepting the fact that on this earth, you would always face disappointments and letdowns from mortal men, even fathers. But he used to assure