Ethical Slut - Dossie Easton [0]
“The Ethical Slut, in this new and expanded edition, is the definitive guide for creating and sustaining all conscious relationships—polyamorous, open, alternative, and monogamous. Don’t enter into another relationship without it!”
—Barbara Carrellas, author of Urban Tantra
“Dossie and Janet’s blend of good humor and forthright honesty makes for some of the best writing I have found on sexually complicated relationships and blended family options. Engaging, disarming, forthright—this is the book for those of us still brave enough to make the ethically complex choices.”
—Dorothy Allison, author of Bastard Out of Carolina
PRAISE FOR THE FIRST EDITION
“I couldn’t stop reading it, and I for one identify as an ethical slut. This is a book for anyone interested in creating more pleasure in their lives … a complete guide to improving any style of relating, from going steady to having an extended family of sexual friends.”
—Betty Dodson, PhD, author of Sex for One
“A useful guidebook for radical relationship travelers … experienced counsel to those on the polysexual frontier.”
—Ryam Nearing, Loving More magazine
“A postgraduate course in ethical relationships of every stripe. The authors pull no punches and are totally outrageous.… You’ll never be bored.”
—Stan Dale, DHS, founder of the Human Awareness Institute
“Frank, funny, and full of practical advice … life-saving validation, empathy, and plenty of insider tips from the experienced big sisters you probably weren’t fortunate enough to have.”
—Deborah Anapol, PhD, author of Polyamory: The New Love without Limits
Copyright © 1997, 2009 by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy
All rights reserved.
Published in the United States by Celestial Arts, an imprint of the Crown
Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc., New York.
www.crownpublishing.com
www.tenspeed.com
Celestial Arts and the Celestial Arts colophon are registered trademarks of Random House, Inc.
Previous edition published as The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual
Possibilities, by Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Liszt (Greenery Press, 1997).
LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOGING-IN-PUBLICATION DATA
Easton, Dossie.
The ethical slut: a practical guide to polyamory, open relationships, and other adventures. — 2nd ed., updated & expanded / Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy.
p. cm.
Summary: “A practical guide to practicing polyamory and open relationships in ways that are ethically and emotionally sustainable”—Provided by publisher.
1. Non-monogamous relationships—United States. 2. Free love—United States. 3. Sexual ethics—United States. 4. Sex—United States. I. Hardy, Janet W. II. Title.
HQ980.5.U5E27 2009
306.84′230973—dc22
2008043651
eISBN: 978-0-307-79048-4
v3.1
Contents
Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Acknowledgments
PART ONE WELCOME
1. Who Is an Ethical Slut?
2. Myths and Realities
3. Our Beliefs
4. Slut Styles
5. Battling Sex Negativity
6. Infinite Possibilities
PART TWO THE PRACTICE OF SLUTHOOD
7. Abundance
8. Slut Skills
9. Boundaries
Interlude: The Unethical Slut (A Rant)
10. Flirting and Cruising
11. Keeping Sex Safe
12. Childrearing
PART THREE NAVIGATING CHALLENGES
13. Roadmaps through Jealousy
Interlude: Clean Love
14. Embracing Conflict
15. Making Agreements
16. Opening an Existing Relationship
PART FOUR SLUTS IN LOVE
17. Making Connection
18. Couples
19. The Single Slut
20. The Ebb and Flow of Relationships
21. Sex and Pleasure
22. Public Sex, Group Sex, and Orgies
CONCLUSION A SLUT UTOPIA
A Slut’s Glossary
Resource Guide
About the Authors
Acknowledgments
We’d like to thank: Amy, Kay, and Bo; Barbara Carrellas; Cecelia & Corwin; Jennifer Collins; Betty Dodson; “E”; Jaymes Easton; “Finn”; Rae Goldman; Francesca Guido; Kai Harper; Lizzard Henry; Sybil Holiday; Ron Hoffman; Richard Karpinski; J Kimball; Laurie and Chris; Deirdre McGrath; Sunny Knight; Adric Petrucelli; Carol Queen; Reid & Marsha; Paul Romano; Maggi Rubenstein; Ruth and Edward; “Sockermom