Ethical Slut - Dossie Easton [137]
The books we’re most familiar with are all terrific, and each one offers viewpoints that others don’t, but as of the latest count we know of dozens more, each with lots to offer. Read them all, but if you can only afford a few, we suggest that you check out the ones we list here.
GENERAL POLYAMORY
Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships, Tristan Taormino (Cleis Press, 2008). Offers a taxonomy of all the many kinds of open relationships and includes interviews with hundreds of people who are succeeding at nontraditional lifestyles.
Polyamory: The New Love without Limits, Dr. Deborah Anapol (Intinet Resource Center, 1997). The classic text for those seeking group marriages and other long-term multipartner committed relationships.
Redefining Our Relationships: Guidelines for Responsible Open Relationships, Wendy-O Matik (Defiant Times Press, 2002). Targeted to younger alternative relationship–seekers, this book frames open relationships as a radical choice that is political as well as personal.
Alt.polyamory (www.polyamory.org). Start your search for poly-friendly information and resources here. Support groups, communities, mailing lists, and such come and go more quickly than we can keep up with in a printed book, but you can find up-to-date information and links to groups all over the world here, as well as relevant articles, glossaries, book reviews, and much more.
Society for Human Sexuality (www.sexuality.org). This remarkably comprehensive website links to hundreds if not thousands of articles, reviews, and other resources about all forms of human sexuality.
Poly in the Media (polyinthemedia.blogspot.com). If you’re curious about news coverage of goings-on in polyland, check out this blog.
DATING AND RELATIONSHIPS
If the Buddha Dated, Charlotte Kasl (Penguin, 1999). How to navigate the world of dating openheartedly, without hauling along all your expectations.
Human Awareness Institute (www.hai.org). These folks put on excellent weekend-long workshops on intimacy, sex, and love, all over the world.
Tribe (www.tribe.net). “Tribes” of like-minded individuals include ethical sluts, as well as general polyamory tribes and some regional polyamory tribes.
Adult Friend Finder (www.adultfriendfinder.com). If you’re seeking a relationship that is primarily sexual and/or kinky in nature, check out this website.
Cuddle Party (www.cuddleparty.com). Cuddle parties are fun, friendly social events in which participants can explore touch and cuddling without sexual expectations.
Lifestyles (www.lifestyles.org). Information, ideas, and events for folks who are specifically interested in swinging.
PolyMatchMaker (www.polymatchmaker.com). Most dating services assume that you’re seeking a monogamous relationship; some will refuse to do business with you if you’re looking for something else. A happy exception is PolyMatchMaker. Their website also offers links to useful articles and websites.
SEX
The Erotic Mind, Jack Morin (Harper, 1996). A brilliant untangling of the eternal conflict between the comfortable ease of long-term relationships and the passionate tension required for hot sex.
The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex, Cathy Winks and Anne Semans (Cleis Press, 2002). A thorough, inclusive guide to how sex actually works.
Hot Monogamy, Patricia Love and Jo Robinson (Plume, 1995). Who better to teach you how to keep your relationship sexy than the folks who have committed to having sex with only one person for the rest of their lives?
Urban Tantra, Barbara Carrellas (Celestial Arts, 2007). How to use the techniques of tantra—breath, gaze, motion, and so on—to bring greater intensity and connection to your sex play. Inclusive of all genders and orientations, including BDSM/leather.
San Francisco Sex Information (www.sfsi.org). Our friends at this website maintain a useful