Everyday Drinking_ The Distilled Kingsley Amis - Kingsley Amis [14]
Generic Hot Punch
A lot of cheap red wine and/or cheap port-type wine
A glass or two or more of cheap (but French) brandy
Some oranges and lemons
Sugar
Spices—cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, etc.
Water.
Put the sliced fruit into a saucepan (preferably one with a pouring beak), add and mix the wine and brandy and put on a slow gas. Stir in powdered spices if you feel like it, though about as much as these do in my experience is contribute a sediment. As the mixture warms, stir in castor sugar. Here you must use your judgment and keep tasting the result, which you will enjoy doing unless you are the wrong person to be giving the party.
Put a kettle on, get ready some expendable wine glasses or any sizeable glasses with a handle or, if you have them, those tumblers that fit inside raffia holders, and stand a dessertspoon in each. The moment the mixture in the saucepan has started to smoke, pour it into a pitcher (a stout enough one not to crack) and at once fill each glass half full. Add half as much boiling water to each drink, so that glasses are now three-quarters full. The presence of the spoon will prevent the glasses cracking very nearly but not absolutely always; hence the “expendable” proviso. Remove spoons and serve, bearing in mind that they should go back in momentarily whenever you top up drinks that are more than half drunk. Keep the remains in the saucepan on the stove, perhaps on an asbestos mat if you can handle the bloody things, remembering that as soon as the mixture starts to bubble, even slightly, you are boiling off alcohol.
Notes. (i) As always, “cheap” wine, etc., does not mean any old plonk. Steer clear of Moroccan claret, Venezuelan tawny-port-style and such dubieties. As always, consult your wine merchant. On the other hand, never use good wine or real (Portuguese) port for a hot brew. They will be utterly wasted in that state. On yet another hand, if you ever find yourself saddled with a batch of non-lethal but unpalatable red wine, keep it by you for use in a hot punch, where its unpalatability will disappear.
(ii) Pundits will try to get you on to the fearful chore of roasting in the oven an orange stuck with real cloves, rubbing lemon rind off on lumps of sugar and all that. Pay no attention.
If, however, you want to offer something a little more than run-of-the-mill—and also rather less trouble—try
Portuguese Hot Punch
Bittall
Water
Proceed as above where appropriate, keeping the proportions of two wine and one hot water. The orange flavour of the Bittall comes through, rendering unnecessary any antics with fruit and the rest. You may need to stir in a little sugar, but I doubt it. I heartily recommend this simple drink.
The Polish Bison
1 generous teaspoon Bovril
1 (adjustable) tot vodka
Water
A squeeze of lemon juice (optional)
A shake of pepper
Make the Bovril as if you were merely making Bovril and stir the other stuff in. Named in salute to the nation that makes the best vodka, but its product will be wasted in this mixture: use a British version. This is a very cheering concoction, especially in cold and/or hungover conditions.
Hot Buttered Rum
Rum (any sort, but an expensive sort will be wasted)
Maple syrup
Butter
Water
Cinnamon
Put a generous tot of rum and a teaspoonful of maple syrup (or sugar syrup) in a mug, fill with hot water and stir till blended. Drop in a small knob of butter and dust with cinnamon. Not my discovery, but less well known, as warmer and nightcap, than it should be.
David Embury disagrees. He admits a version into his book for completeness’ sake, but concludes sternly: “How any- one can possibly consume [it] for pleasure is utterly beyond me . . . I believe that the drinking of Hot Buttered Rum should