Faith - Lesley Pearse [136]
By Christmas of that year Laura had moved out of Caledonian Crescent and into a spacious two-bedroom flat in Albany Street. The house was built in Georgian times, just like the old tenement, but that was the only similarity. Albany Street was one of the wide, gracious streets in the New Town, the houses built for wealthy people who had the whole house, with servants in the attic rooms and their horses in the mews at the back. Laura’s first-floor flat had a beautiful marble fireplace, elaborate plaster cornices, high ceilings and shiny walnut doors. The carpets and curtains came with the lease, but there was no furniture, and the day she and Barney moved in they danced around the empty flat laughing and singing at the joy of having so much space.
Yet on Christmas Day she did have a really bad stab of guilt at what she had to do to be able to meet the high rent, furnish the flat, and shower Barney with presents. It came when she was helping him set up his new electric train set on his bedroom floor.
It was the afternoon, already getting dark, and Barney had insisted on putting on the new pyjamas Jackie had sent him. They were dark blue and fleecy lined, with a picture of Bert and Ernie from Sesame Street across the chest.
‘This train is the best present ever, Mummy,’ he said, crawling round the track to her to give her a hug. ‘I wish Stuie was here to play with it too. Does he know we’ve moved? If he doesn’t he won’t know where to find us when he comes back.’
Up till then she’d been so happy. They had a big Christmas tree in the lounge, all decked out in red and gold decorations and lights, and the heady smell of pine was everywhere. She’d hung Barney’s stocking on the mantelpiece, and although they had the luxury of central heating, she’d even lit a real fire before he woke to make everything extra special and cosy. They hadn’t got much furniture yet, but that hadn’t mattered; their beds, a settee and the television were enough for now.
But Barney’s innocent remark cut her to the quick. He hadn’t mentioned Stuart for weeks and she thought he’d forgotten all about him.
She hugged him tightly so he wouldn’t see the tears welling up in her eyes. Last Christmas Stuart had played with him most of the day, and all the neighbours on the stair had come in for a drink or two and the flat had been noisy and crowded. This year Barney had twice as many presents, and although there had been no visitors, and no one but her to share his excitement as he opened his stocking, she had thought that was enough to make a five-year-old completely happy and he wouldn’t remember how it had been the previous year.
‘Stuie’s working for Auntie Jackie in London now,’ she said, the lump in her throat making it hard to speak. ‘Maybe you’ll see him again when you’re big enough to go and stay with her. I don’t think he’ll ever come back to Edinburgh.’
Barney looked up at her, his big dark eyes sad and thoughtful. ‘I should have asked Father Christmas to make him come back. That would have been an even better present than the train set. He could have done it, couldn’t he?’
‘I don’t think so, Barney,’ she said softly. ‘Even all the elves that work for Father Christmas couldn’t make Stuie love Mummy enough to come and visit.’
‘Could Auntie Jackie make him come back?’
‘No, Barney. Besides, she needs him to fix up her houses. But when you can write really well, you can write a letter to Stuie yourself. I’ll put it in with my letter to Auntie Jackie.’
Jackie had sent a Christmas parcel to them at their old address in Caledonian Crescent. Luckily it arrived the day before they moved out. There was a big box of Lego for Barney, along with the pyjamas, and there had been a letter for Laura enclosed in the parcel.
I expect Barney will think