Faith - Lesley Pearse [156]
‘Why should I have to ask you for money?’ Laura threw back at her. ‘You aren’t my keeper. I’ve got the right to start up any business I like. I don’t need your charity or your opinion. And you had no right to come here uninvited and snoop around.’
‘Has it occurred to you that if you are caught making these films you might go to prison and you’d certainly have Barney taken from you?’ Jackie said heatedly. ‘Can you imagine what that would do to him? For God’s sake, Laura, pull yourself together and stop this right now. It’s wrong and you know it.’
That night after Jackie had given up ranting, when they’d both cried and Laura had seen how clean the flat was, the cupboards stocked with food that Jackie had bought, she really did intend to stop making the films.
She looked at Barney in the morning and saw that he’d shot up in height without her noticing. He now reached her shoulder and was clearly going to be tall like his father. The stockiness of his early years was gone too, and he was skinny now. He had a look of Greg, but without the big nose, and his dark eyes had a wisdom in them beyond his nine years.
She realized too that she hadn’t stopped to think about what subjects he was best at in school, and she’d never asked him if he had any idea what he wanted to be when he grew up. She hadn’t even been to school parent/teacher meetings to hear about his progress or problems. If she didn’t become a better mother he might go the way her older brothers had, raking the streets and getting into crime.
But for all her good intentions, it wasn’t that easy just to stop what she was doing. Katy and Tod depended on her, and Sid wanted more films, offering her a bigger percentage of the profits. She did find a reliable woman to come in and act as a housekeeper and childminder each day after school. She took all the films, photographs and other incriminating evidence of her work out of the flat and rented a small office in Glasgow. She also made sure there was never any coke in the flat, and that she spent all weekend with Barney. But she didn’t stop making the films, and the more money she made, the more she wanted.
Jackie was no fool, she knew Laura hadn’t given up making films, but on her next surprise visit when she found everything in order in Albany Street, and nothing dangerous or corrupting there, she seemed resigned to it. ‘I hate knowing you are involved in something like this,’ she said, shaking her head despairingly. ‘What is Barney going to think of you when he’s old enough to understand what you do?’
‘I won’t be doing it then,’ Laura said airily. ‘As soon as I’ve got enough money I’ll move into some legal business.’
‘Then at least let Barney come over to Fife with me during his school holidays,’ Jackie said. ‘He needs other kids to play with, fresh air and normality. And I want you to go to a solicitor and draw up a legal document so that if anything should happen to you, I get custody of him.’
Laura had mixed feelings about Jackie’s request. While she was happy to agree to Barney staying with her in the school holidays, and she could see the sense in having some contingency plan in the unlikely event of anything bad happening to her, she resented being policed. It seemed to her that Jackie had stopped being her friend and become her social worker. She didn’t confide in Laura any more, not about the trouble she was having conceiving a child of her own, or about her marriage. It was obvious from the amount of time she was spending in Fife that she had left Roger for good, but she didn’t admit it. And if she wouldn’t talk about her problems, Laura felt unable to talk about hers.
Robbie had moved into making blue movies too; it turned out that was why he’d closed down the old studio. He was not amused when Laura beat him at his own game. He’d telephoned her several rimes threatening to mark her for