Fanny and the Servant Problem [10]
becomes serious]. You've known Vernon all his life?
DR. FREEMANTLE. No one better.
FANNY. Tell me. I've known him only as a lover. What sort of a man is he?
A pause. They are looking straight into each other's eyes.
DR. FREEMANTLE. A man it pays to be perfectly frank with.
FANNY. It's a very old family, isn't it?
DR. FREEMANTLE. Old! Good Lord no! First Lord Bantock was only Vernon's great-grandfather. That is the woman that did it all. [He is looking at the Hoppner.]
FANNY. How do you mean?
DR. FREEMANTLE. Got them their title. Made the name of Bantock of importance in the history of the Georges. Clever woman.
FANNY [leaning over a chair, she is staring into the eyes of the first Lady Bantock]. I wonder what she would have done if she had ever got herself into a really first-class muddle?
DR. FREEMANTLE. One thing's certain. [Fanny turns to him.] She'd have got out of it.
FANNY [addresses the portrait]. I do wish you could talk.
Vernon bursts into the room. He has been riding. He throws aside his hat and stick.
VERNON. Hulloa! This is good of you. [He shakes hands with the Doctor.] How are you? [Without waiting for any reply, he goes to Fanny, kisses her.] Good morning, dear. How have you been getting on together, you two? Has she been talking to you?
DR. FREEMANTLE. Oh, yes.
VERNON. Doesn't she talk well? I say, what have you been doing to yourself?
FANNY. Jane thought this style--[with a gesture]--more appropriate to Lady Bantock.
VERNON. Um! Wonder if she's right? [To the Doctor] What do you think?
DR. FREEMANTLE. I think it a question solely for Lady Bantock.
VERNON. Of course it is. [To Fanny] You know, you mustn't let them dictate to you. Dear, good, faithful souls, all of them. But they must understand that you are mistress.
FANNY [she seizes eagerly at the chance]. You might mention it to them, dear. It would come so much better from you.
VERNON. No, you. They will take more notice of you.
FANNY. I'd so much rather you did it. [To Dr. Freemantle] Don't you think it would come better from him?
DR. FREEMANTLE [laughs]. I'm afraid you'll have to do it yourself.
VERNON. You see, dear, it might hurt them, coming from me. It would seem like ingratitude. Mrs. Bennet--Why, it wasn't till I began to ask questions that I grasped the fact that she WASN'T my real mother. As for old Bennet, ever since my father died--well, I hardly know how I could have got on without him. It was Charles Bennet that taught me to ride; I learned my letters sitting on Jane's lap.
FANNY. Yes. Perhaps I had better do it myself.
VERNON. I'm sure it will be more effective. Of course I shall support you.
FANNY. Thank you. Oh, by the by, dear, I shan't be able to go with you to-day.
VERNON. Why not?
FANNY. I've rather a headache.
VERNON. Oh, I'm so sorry. Oh, all right, we'll stop at home. I'm not so very keen about it.
FANNY. No, I want you to go, dear. Your aunts are looking forward to it. I shall get over it all the sooner with everybody out of the way.
VERNON. Well, if you really wish it.
The Misses Wetherell steal in. They are dressed for driving. They exchange greetings with the Doctor.
FANNY. You know you promised to obey. [Tickles his nose with a flower.]
VERNON [laughing--to the Doctor]. You see what it is to be married?
DR. FREEMANTLE [laughs]. Very trying.
VERNON [turning to his aunts]. Fanny isn't coming with us.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL [to Fanny]. Oh, my dear!
FANNY. It's only a headache. [She takes her aside.] I'm rather glad of it. I want an excuse for a little time to myself.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. I understand, dear. It's all been so sudden. [She kisses her--then to the room] She'll be all the better alone. We three will go on. [She nods and signs to her sister.]
FANNY [kissing the Elder Miss Wetherell]. Don't you get betting.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. Oh no, dear, we never do. It's just to see the dear horses.
DR. FREEMANTLE. No one better.
FANNY. Tell me. I've known him only as a lover. What sort of a man is he?
A pause. They are looking straight into each other's eyes.
DR. FREEMANTLE. A man it pays to be perfectly frank with.
FANNY. It's a very old family, isn't it?
DR. FREEMANTLE. Old! Good Lord no! First Lord Bantock was only Vernon's great-grandfather. That is the woman that did it all. [He is looking at the Hoppner.]
FANNY. How do you mean?
DR. FREEMANTLE. Got them their title. Made the name of Bantock of importance in the history of the Georges. Clever woman.
FANNY [leaning over a chair, she is staring into the eyes of the first Lady Bantock]. I wonder what she would have done if she had ever got herself into a really first-class muddle?
DR. FREEMANTLE. One thing's certain. [Fanny turns to him.] She'd have got out of it.
FANNY [addresses the portrait]. I do wish you could talk.
Vernon bursts into the room. He has been riding. He throws aside his hat and stick.
VERNON. Hulloa! This is good of you. [He shakes hands with the Doctor.] How are you? [Without waiting for any reply, he goes to Fanny, kisses her.] Good morning, dear. How have you been getting on together, you two? Has she been talking to you?
DR. FREEMANTLE. Oh, yes.
VERNON. Doesn't she talk well? I say, what have you been doing to yourself?
FANNY. Jane thought this style--[with a gesture]--more appropriate to Lady Bantock.
VERNON. Um! Wonder if she's right? [To the Doctor] What do you think?
DR. FREEMANTLE. I think it a question solely for Lady Bantock.
VERNON. Of course it is. [To Fanny] You know, you mustn't let them dictate to you. Dear, good, faithful souls, all of them. But they must understand that you are mistress.
FANNY [she seizes eagerly at the chance]. You might mention it to them, dear. It would come so much better from you.
VERNON. No, you. They will take more notice of you.
FANNY. I'd so much rather you did it. [To Dr. Freemantle] Don't you think it would come better from him?
DR. FREEMANTLE [laughs]. I'm afraid you'll have to do it yourself.
VERNON. You see, dear, it might hurt them, coming from me. It would seem like ingratitude. Mrs. Bennet--Why, it wasn't till I began to ask questions that I grasped the fact that she WASN'T my real mother. As for old Bennet, ever since my father died--well, I hardly know how I could have got on without him. It was Charles Bennet that taught me to ride; I learned my letters sitting on Jane's lap.
FANNY. Yes. Perhaps I had better do it myself.
VERNON. I'm sure it will be more effective. Of course I shall support you.
FANNY. Thank you. Oh, by the by, dear, I shan't be able to go with you to-day.
VERNON. Why not?
FANNY. I've rather a headache.
VERNON. Oh, I'm so sorry. Oh, all right, we'll stop at home. I'm not so very keen about it.
FANNY. No, I want you to go, dear. Your aunts are looking forward to it. I shall get over it all the sooner with everybody out of the way.
VERNON. Well, if you really wish it.
The Misses Wetherell steal in. They are dressed for driving. They exchange greetings with the Doctor.
FANNY. You know you promised to obey. [Tickles his nose with a flower.]
VERNON [laughing--to the Doctor]. You see what it is to be married?
DR. FREEMANTLE [laughs]. Very trying.
VERNON [turning to his aunts]. Fanny isn't coming with us.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL [to Fanny]. Oh, my dear!
FANNY. It's only a headache. [She takes her aside.] I'm rather glad of it. I want an excuse for a little time to myself.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. I understand, dear. It's all been so sudden. [She kisses her--then to the room] She'll be all the better alone. We three will go on. [She nods and signs to her sister.]
FANNY [kissing the Elder Miss Wetherell]. Don't you get betting.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. Oh no, dear, we never do. It's just to see the dear horses.