Flex_ Do Something Different - Ben [23]
often have bad consequences for us and/or those around us
may not be relevant to the present demands of the situation
are owing to our genes and our upbringing, or are modelled on other people, and may not best serve us as adults
impact negatively on how we feel
impact negatively on others and how we are perceived and
are often at odds with how we think we are behaving because in the main habits bypass conscious processing.
So, there is a sound rationale for not acting habitually or doing ‘what comes naturally’. I am filled with trepidation when I hear people advising others to ‘just be yourself’. The chances are, that is the one thing not to be. Doing what comes naturally can be good but it has a risk of doing damage because a given trait will be inappropriate in more situations than it can be appropriate for. Our personality habits are often a poor match for the very varied world in which we live.
That is why it is better to be behaviourally flexible: FIT Science has this notion at its core. That is why it is sometimes better to do what doesn’t come naturally! To make the most of ourselves we need to flex ourselves and go against our natural tendencies.
28. Behavioural dimensions
The FIT Profiler measures fifteen different ‘behavioural dimensions’. Since the original FIT Profiler was developed, thousands of people have completed Profilers and provided their data to help me refine my ideas about what the important behavioural dimensions are. This has also shown how reliable the tool has been over the years. The key behavioural dimensions are shown in the table below:
Key behavioural dimensions
Unassertive Assertive
Trusting Wary
Calm/relaxed Energetic/driven
Reactive Proactive
Definite Flexible1
Risk-taker Plays safe
Behave as others want Behave as you wish
Spontaneous Systematic
Single-minded Open-minded
Introverted Extroverted
Conventional Unconventional
Individually-centred Group-centred
Firm Gentle
Lively Laid back
Predictable Unpredictable
The original FIT Profiler has been subjected to full psychometric analysis and is highly reliable.2 In general, people do not come out very flexible, as I had expected. Across all fifteen dimensions the average score people get for their behavioural flexibility suggests they use about 22 per cent of their potential behaviours. Some use as little as 10 per cent and about one in five people show no flexibility whatsoever – they appear to have firmly entrenched personalities. People who are using as much as 50 per cent of their possible behaviour repertoire are very rare indeed.
At the end of this section you can find out how to flex yourself further along these dimensions.
29. Doing the right thing
Being flexible doesn’t necessarily guarantee you’ll do the right thing in a situation. It is crucial not only to have as wide a repertoire of acceptable behaviours as possible, but also to deploy them appropriately as the situation demands. Flexible behaviour is no good if you always seem to pull out an inappropriate behaviour!
It is the constancies that ensure that behaviour is optimal. In reality, however, people do not score perfect 100 per cent scores on the five constancies (called ‘FIT integrity’). Also, that many people’s profiles show a considerable lack of harmony among the constancies creates additional problems for doing the right thing.
Our behavioural habits, however, create the biggest obstacle. We just don’t notice how our personality traits keep us behaviourally cooped up. Our ‘comfort zone’ is somewhere we (and our brains) like us to be. Staying in