Games People Play_ The Psychology of Human Relationships - Eric Berne [12]
The essential and similar feature of both procedures and rituals is that they are stereotyped. Once the first transaction has been initiated, the whole series is predictable and follows a predetermined course to a foreordained conclusion unless special conditions arise. The difference between them lies in the origin of the predetermination: procedures are programmed by the Adult and rituals are Parentally patterned.
Individuals who are not comfortable or adept with rituals sometimes evade them by substituting procedures. They can be found, for example, among people who like to help the hostess with preparing or serving food and drink at parties.
4 · Pastimes
PASTIMES occur in social and temporal matrices of varying degrees of complexity, and hence vary in complexity. However, if we use the transaction as the unit of social intercourse, we can dissect out of appropriate situations an entity which may be called a simple pastime. This may be defined as a series of semi-ritualistic, simple, complementary transactions arranged around a single field of material, whose primary object is to structure an interval of time. The beginning and end of the interval are typically signalled by procedures or rituals. The transactions are adaptively programmed so that each party will obtain the maximum gains or advantages during the interval. The better his adaptation, the more he will get out of it.
Pastimes are typically played at parties (‘social gatherings’) or during the waiting period before a formal group meeting begins; such waiting periods before a meeting ‘begins’ have the same structure and dynamics as ‘parties’. Pastimes may take the form described as ‘chit-chat’ or they may become more serious, e.g., argumentative. A large cocktail party often functions as a kind of gallery for the exhibition of pastimes. In one corner of the room a few people are playing ‘PTA’, another corner is the forum for ‘Psychiatry’, a third is the theatre for ‘Ever Been’ or ‘What Became’, the fourth is engaged for ‘General Motors’, and the buffet is reserved for women who want to play ‘Kitchen’ or ‘Wardrobe’. The proceedings at such a gathering may be almost identical, with a change of names here and there, with the proceedings at a dozen similar parties taking place simultaneously in the area. At another dozen in a different social stratum, a different assortment of pastimes is underway.
Pastimes may be classified in different ways. The external determinants are sociological (sex, age, marital status, cultural, racial or economic). ‘General Motors’ (comparing cars) and ‘Who Won’ (sports) are both ‘Man Talk’. ‘Grocery’, ‘Kitchen’, and ‘Wardrobe’ are all ‘Lady Talk’ – or, as practised in the South Seas, ‘Mary Talk’. ‘Making Out’ is adolescent, while the onset of middle age is marked by a shift to ‘Balance Sheet’. Other species of this class, which are all variations of ‘Small Talk’, are: ‘How To’ (go about doing something), an easy filler for short airplane trips; ‘How Much’ (does it cost), a favourite in lower middle-class bars; ‘Ever Been’ (to some nostalgic place), a middle-class game for ‘oldhands’ such as salesmen ;‘Do You Know’ (so-and-so) for lonely ones; ‘What Became’ (of good old Joe), often played by economic successes and failures: ‘Morning After’ (what a hangover) and ‘Martini’ (I know a better way), typical of a certain kind of ambitious young person.
The structural-transactional classification is a more personal one. Thus ‘PTA’ may be played at three levels. At the Child-Child level it takes the form of ‘How do You Deal with Recalcitrant Parents’; its Adult-Adult form, ‘PTA’ proper, is popular among