Games People Play_ The Psychology of Human Relationships - Eric Berne [14]
Another important advantage obtained from pastimes is the confirmation of role and the stabilizing of position. A role is something like what Jung calls persona, except that it is less opportunistic and more deeply rooted in the individual’s fantasies. Thus in Projective ‘PTA’ one player may take the role of tough Parent, another the role of righteous Parent, a third the role of indulgent Parent and a fourth the role of helpful Parent. All four experience and exhibit a Parental ego state, but each presents himself differently. The role of each one is confirmed if it prevails – that is, if it meets with no antagonism or is strengthened by any antagonism it meets or is approved by certain types of people with stroking.
The confirmation of his role stabilizes the individual’s position, and this is called the existential advantage from the pastime. A position is a simple predicative statement which influences all of the individual’s transactions; in the long run it determines his destiny and often that of his descendants as well. A position may be more or less absolute. Typical positions from which Projective ‘PTA’ can be played are: ‘All children are bad!’ ‘All other children are bad!’ ‘All children are sad!’ ‘All children are persecuted!’ These positions might give rise to the role of the tough, the righteous, the indulgent and the helpful Parent, respectively. Actually a position is primarily manifested by the mental attitude to which it gives rise, and it is with this attitude that the individual undertakes the transactions which constitute his role.
Positions are taken and become fixed surprisingly early, from the second or even the first year to the seventh year of life – in any case long before the individual is competent or experienced enough to make such a serious commitment. It is not difficult to deduce from an individual’s position the kind of childhood he must have had. Unless something or somebody intervenes, he spends the rest of his life stabilizing his position and dealing with situations that threaten it: by avoiding them, warding off certain elements or manipulating them provocatively so that they are transformed from threats into justifications. One reason pastimes are so stereotyped is that they serve such stereotyped purposes. But the gains they offer show why people play them so eagerly, and why they can be so pleasant if played with people who have constructive or benevolent positions to maintain.
A pastime is not always easy to distinguish from an activity, and combinations frequently occur. Many commonplace pastimes, such as ‘General Motors’, consist of what psychologists might call Multiple-Choice – Sentence-Completion exchanges.
A. ‘I like a Ford/Chevrolet/Plymouth better than a Ford/Chevrolet/Plymouth because …’
B. ‘Oh. Well, I’d rather have a Ford/Chevrolet/Plymouth than a Ford/Chevrolet/Plymouth because …’
It is apparent that there may actually be some useful information conveyed in such stereotypes.
A few other common pastimes may be mentioned. ‘Me Too’ is often a variant of ‘Ain’t It Awful’. ‘Why Don’t They’ (do something about it) is a favourite among housewives who do not wish to be emancipated. ‘Then We’ll’ is a Child-Child pastime. ‘Let’s Find’ (something to do) is played by juvenile delinquents or mischievous grown-ups.
5 · Games
1 · DEFINITION
A GAME is an ongoing series of complementary ulterior transactions progressing to a well-defined, predictable outcome. Descriptively it is a recurring set of transactions, often repetitious, superficially plausible, with a concealed motivation; or, more colloquially, a series of moves with a snare, or ‘gimmick’. Games are clearly differentiated from procedures, rituals, and pastimes by two chief characteristics: (1) their ulterior quality and (2) the payoff. Procedures may be successful, rituals effective, and pastimes profitable, but all of them are by definition candid; they may involve