Games People Play_ The Psychology of Human Relationships - Eric Berne [9]
Figure 3. Crossed Transactions
The relationship diagram in Figure 4, showing the nine possible vectors of social action between an agent and a respondent, has some interesting geometrical (topological) qualities. Complementary transactions between ‘psychological equals’ are represented by (1–1)2, (5–5)2 and (9–9)2. There are three other complementary transactions: (2–4) (4–2), (3–7) (7–3) and (6–8) (8–6). All other combinations form crossed transactions, and in most cases these show up as crossings in the diagram: e.g., (3–7) (3–7), which results in two speechless people glaring at each other. If neither of them gives way, communication is finished and they must part. The most common solutions are for one to yield and take (7–3), which results in a game of ‘Uproar’; or better, (5–5)2, in which case they both burst out laughing or shake hands.
Simple complementary transactions most commonly occur in superficial working and social relationships, and these are easily disturbed by simple crossed transactions. In fact a superficial relationship may be defined as one which is confined to simple complementary transactions. Such relationships occur in activities, rituals and pastimes. More complex are ulterior transactions – those involving the activity of more than two ego states simultaneously – and this category is the basis for games. Salesmen are particularly adept at angular transactions, those involving three ego states. A crude but dramatic example of a sales game is illustrated in the following exchange:
Figure 4. A Relationship Diagram
Salesman: ‘This one is better, but you can’t afford it.’
Housewife: ‘That’s the one I’ll take.’
The analysis of this transaction is shown in Figure 5A. The salesman, as Adult, states two objective facts: ‘This one is better’ and ‘You can’t afford it’. At the ostensible, or social, level these are directed to the Adult of the housewife, whose Adult reply would be: ‘You are correct on both counts.’ However, the ulterior, or psychological, vector is directed by the well-trained and experienced Adult of the salesman to the housewife’s Child. The correctness of his judgement is demonstrated by the Child’s reply, which says in effect: ‘Regardless of the financial consequences, I’ll show that arrogant fellow I’m as good as any of his customers.’ At both levels the transaction is complementary, since her reply is accepted at face value as an Adult purchasing contract.
Figure 5. Ulterior Transactions
A duplex ulterior transaction involves four ego states, and is commonly seen in flirtation games.
Cowboy: ‘Come and see the barn.’
Visitor: ‘I’ve loved barns ever since I was a little girl.’
As shown in Figure 5B, at the social level this is an Adult conversation about barns, and at the psychological level it is a Child conversation about sex play. On the surface the Adult seems to have the initiative, but as in most games, the outcome is determined by the Child, and the participants may be in for a surprise.
Transactions may be classified, then, as complementary or crossed, simple or ulterior, and ulterior transactions may be subdivided into angular and duplex types.
3 · Procedures and Rituals
TRANSACTIONS usually proceed in series. These series are not random, but are programmed. Programming may come from one of three sources: Parent, Adult or Child, or more generally, from society, material or idiosyncrasy. Since the needs of adaptation require that the Child be shielded by the Parent or Adult until each social situation has been tested, Child programming is most apt to occur in situations of privacy and intimacy, where preliminary testing has already been done.
The simplest forms of social activity are procedures