Gasping for Airtime - Jay Mohr [94]
The next set of snapshots always makes me smile. I see Fred Wolf, who does not smoke, walking around with an unlit cigarette in his mouth all night on Tuesdays; Bob Van Rye and Jane the janitor smiling; Jim Downey walking out of his office and brushing his teeth at the same time; Dave Attell in his denim jacket; Adam Sandler, David Spade, and Tim Meadows all laughing at one of Sandler’s stories; the couch I sat on my first day; Norm Macdonald smiling and lighting up the room; and Don Pardo ready to tell the world who will be on Saturday Night Live that week.
The final group of snapshots I see in my head are more like little short movies. They are snippets of conversations and pieces of sketches that last a few seconds, but linger with me for days. The longer these scenarios repeat in my head, the more they trigger other memories that I had temporarily forgotten. All of these vignettes are special. I enjoy thinking back on them when I am lying in my bed alone at night. One montage ends in a single image that stands out above all others: May 14, 1994, Phil Hartman and Chris Farley’s last show.
The final sketch of that show was a musical tribute to Phil, who had received a bronze tube of glue from the cast earlier that day to commemorate the nickname given to him by Sandler. Wearing a double-breasted charcoal suit with a maroon and white polka-dot tie, Phil began the sketch by smiling and addressing the camera: “Ladies and gentlemen, as we close out our nineteenth season, let’s say good-bye to the Saturday Night Live family singers.” Phil waved his hand toward the stage behind him and we all marched out.
The entire cast, as well as all the featured performers, filed onto the stage and began to sing “So Long, Farewell” from the movie The Sound of Music. There were fourteen of us onstage, and we were all dressed as our recurring characters. We all belted out: “So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen good night” and waved good-bye.
Then Adam Sandler and David Spade sang by themselves, as the Gap Girls: “We sell you jeans, like even if they’re too tight.” Then Sandler and Spade giggled like girls and danced off the stage. That left twelve of us. Some of us waved when we should have squatted. Some of us squatted when we were supposed to wave. The entire thing was very poorly rehearsed.
Next, Melanie Hutsell as Tori Spelling and Tim Meadows as Ike Turner sang to Kevin Nealon, who didn’t have any lines in the song. The three of them danced off the stage. Then Norm Macdonald, Sarah Silverman, and I sang, “We’re not on a lot, so we better try and score” and we danced off the stage. As we exited, Sarah jumped up on my back and Norm sort of sulked along behind us with his hands in his pockets.
That left seven people on the stage. Mike Myers as Linda Richman from “Coffee Talk” sang his solo and did a hora off the stage, and the crowd went bananas. That was the first applause break of the sketch. Ellen Cleghorne sang as Zoraida the NBC page, and she too received an applause break.
Four people stood on the stage and continued singing “So long, farewell.” Rob Schneider as the Copy Guy and Julia Sweeney as Pat sang a duet and left the other cast members standing behind them. Michael McKean was dressed as Lenny from Laverne & Shirley. He sang, “I don’t have a character yet, but I was on Laverne & Shirley.” He did his dance off the stage as Lenny, and the crowd applauded along with hoots and hollers.
That left one person onstage. It was Chris Farley dressed as the Motivational Speaker. Before he even opened his mouth, the crowd went apeshit. He started to walk to the front of the stage, hitching his pants up as he walked. At this point in the sketch, the song had slowed down to a lullaby and Chris began