Gasping for Airtime - Jay Mohr [95]
Phil Hartman walked out from the side of the stage and sat down next to Chris. As Phil sat, Chris rested his head on Phil’s lapel. Phil then looked at the camera again and said, “You know, I can’t imagine a more dignified way…” That’s when his voice cracked. The glue. It was the last thing he was going to say on Saturday Night Live as a cast member. The sight of Phil’s eyes getting moist was stunning. His voice quivered as if he might cry, and he paused for a second to collect himself. He continued speaking into the camera, saying, “To end my eight years on this program…” Chris cuddled up into Phil and Phil sang, “Good-bye. Good-bye. Good-bye.” The camera angle on the last “good-bye” switched to the crane camera that swung through the studio. Phil was looking up as he sang. Farley nuzzled in closer to Phil and moved his head from Phil’s lapel to his shoulder. The sketch ended like that, with Phil Hartman and Chris Farley sitting onstage together, sleeping and singing “Good-bye.”
The stage lights dimmed and the only light left on the stage was a small spot focused on Chris and Phil. The entire stage was dark except for the circle of light on the shoulders and heads of Chris and Phil. When this snapshot comes into my mind, it remains longer than the others. It’s as if you were staring into a lightbulb the moment someone switches it off. The room goes dark, but you can still see the coils of the bulb.
Whenever I think of Phil and Chris sitting together on the stage in studio 8-H in the early morning hours of May 15, 1994, to say that it was all worthwhile is belittling. It was glorious.
Contents
Acknowledgments
Prologue
Happy Hour
Chapter One
Comedy is Truth the Moment Before Anticipation
Chapter Two
Dude, How Did You Get on SNL?
Chapter Three
A Knee in the Groin
Chapter Four
Monday, Wednesday, Tuesday
Chapter Five
Swimming with Sharks
Chapter Six
Playing Well with Others
Chapter Seven
Fight or Flight?
Chapter Eight
The Motivational Speaker
Chapter Nine
Music for the Soul
Chapter Ten
Fake Pitches
Chapter Eleven
From the Cradle
Chapter Twelve
Dressing Down
Chapter Thirteen
“Good Morning, Brooklyn”
Chapter Fourteen
Lorne
Chapter Fifteen
Weekend Update
Chapter Sixteen
Give Me Little Bits of More Than I Can Take
Epilogue
Phil Hartman, U.S.A.
“Plush” by Eric Kretz, Robert Emile DeLeo, Dean DeLeo and Scott Richard Weiland. Copyright © 1992 Universal Music Corp. on behalf of Milsongs. All rights reserved. Used by permission.
“Ultra Violet (Light My Way)” by Paul Hewson, Dave Evans, Adam Clayton and Larry Mullen. Copyright © 1991 Universal—Polygram International Publishing, Inc. All rights reserved. Used by permission.
“Cherub Rock,” by Billy Corgan. © 1992 Cinderful Music/Chrysalis Songs (BMI). All Rights administered by Chrysalis Songs. All Rights Reserved. Used by Permission. WARNER BROS. PUBLICATIONS U.S. INC., Miami, FL 33014.
“You Don’t Know How It Feels,” by Tom Petty. © 1994 Gone Gator Music (ASCAP). All Rights Reserved. Used by Permission. WARNER BROS. PUBLICATIONS U.S. INC., Miami, FL 33014.
Copyright © 2004 Giraffe Productions, Inc. f/s/o Jay Mohr
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without the written permission of the Publisher. For information address Hyperion, 77 West 66th Street, New York, New York 10023-6298.
ISBN 1-4013-9984-3
First eBook Edition: June 2004
Please Visit our Web site at
www.HyperionBooks.com
Table of Contents
Acknowledgments
Prologue
Happy Hour
Chapter One
Comedy is Truth the Moment Before Anticipation
Chapter Two
Dude, How Did You Get on SNL ?
Chapter Three
A Knee in the Groin
Chapter Four
Monday, Wednesday, Tuesday
Chapter Five
Swimming with Sharks
Chapter Six
Playing