Gentlemen prefer blondes - Anita Loos [33]
So we went to Deimels and met Count Salm. But while we were having yowzer with Count Salm, we saw Mr. Spoffard’s mother come in with her companion Miss Chapman, and Miss Chapman seemed to look at me quite a lot and talk to Mr. Spoffards mother about me quite a lot. So I became quite nervous, because I really wished that we were not with Count Salm. I mean it has been quite a hard thing to make Mr. Spoffard think that I am trying to reform Dorothy, but if I had to try to make him think that I was trying to reform Count Salm, he might begin to think that there is a limit to almost everything. So Mr. Spoffards mother seems to be deaf, because she seems to use an ear trumpet and I really could not help over hearing quite a lot of words that Miss Chapman was using on me, even if it is not such good etiquet to overhear people. So Miss Chapman seemed to be telling Mr. Spoffards mother that I was a “creature,” and she seemed to be telling her that I was the real reason why her son seemed to be so full of nothing but neglect lately. So then Mr. Spoffards mother looked at me and looked at me, even if it was not such good etiquet to look at a person. And Miss Chapman kept right on talking to Mr. Spoffards mother and I heard her mention Willie Gwynn and I think that Miss Chapman has been making some inquiries about me and I really think that she has heard about the time when all of the family of Willie Gwynn had quite a long talk with me and persuaded me not to marry Willie Gwynn for $10,000. So I really wish Mr. Spoffard would introduce me to his mother before she gets to be full of quite a lot of prejudice. Because one thing seems to be piling up on top of another thing, until I am almost on the verge of getting nervous and I have not had any time yet to do what Dr. Froyd said a girl ought to do.
So tonight I am going to tell Mr. Eisman that I have got to go to bed early, so then I can take quite a long ride with Mr. Spoffard and look at nature, and he may say something definite, because nothing makes gentlemen get so definite as looking at nature when it is moonlight.
May 30th:
Well last night Mr. Spoffard and I took quite a long ride in the park, but they do not call it a park in the Viennese landguage but they call it the Prater. So a prater is really devine because it is just like Coney Island but at the same time it is in the woods and it is practically full of trees and it has quite a long road for people to take rides on in a horse and buggy. So I found out that Miss Chapman had been talking against me quite a lot. So it seems that she has been making inquiries about me, and I was really surprised to hear all of the things that Miss Chapman seemed to find out about me except that she did not find out about Mr. Eisman educating me. So then I had to tell Mr. Spoffard that I was not always so reformed as I am now, because the world was full of gentlemen who were nothing but wolfs in sheeps clothes, that did nothing but take advantadge of all we girls. So I really cried quite a lot. So then I told him how I was just a little girl from Little Rock when I first left Little Rock and by that time even Mr. Spoffard had tears in his eyes. So I told him how I came from a very very good family because papa was very intelectual, and he was a very very prominent Elk, and everybody always said that he was a very intelectual Elk. So I told Mr. Spoffard that when I left Little Rock I thought that all of the gentlemen did not want to do anything but protect we girls and by the time I found out that they did not want to protect us so much, it was to late. So then he cried quite a lot. So then I told him how I finaly got reformed by reading all about him in the newspapers and when I saw him in the oriental express it really seemed to be nothing but the result of fate. So I told Mr. Spoffard that I thought a girl was really