Gentlemen prefer blondes - Anita Loos [34]
So we rode around in the Prater until it was quite late and it really was devine because it was moonlight and we talked quite a lot about morals, and all the bands in the prater were all playing in the distants “Mama love Papa”. Because “Mama love Papa” has just reached Vienna and they all seem to be crazy about “Mama love Papa” even if it is not so new in America. So then he took me home to the hotel.
So everything always works out for the best, because this morning Mr. Spoffard called up and told me he wanted me to meet his mother. So I told him I would like to have luncheon alone with his mother because we could have quite a little tatatate if there was only two of us. So I told him to bring his mother to our room for luncheon because I thought that Miss Chapman could not walk into our room and spoil everything.
So he brought his mother down to our sitting room and I put on quite a simple little organdy gown that I had ripped all of the trimming off of, and I had a pair of black lace mitts that Dorothy used to wear in the Follies and I had a pair of shoes that did not have any heels on them. So when he introduced us to each other I dropped her a courtesy because I always think it is quite quaint when a girl drops quite a lot of courtesys. So then he left us alone and we had quite a little talk and I told her that I did not seem to like all of the flappers that we seem to have nowadays, because I was brought up to be more old fashioned. So then Mr. Spoffards mother told me that Miss Chapman said that she had heard that I was not so old fashioned. But I told her that I was so old fashioned that I was always full of respect for all of my elders and I would not dare to tell them everything they ought to do, like Miss Chapman seems to tell her everything she ought to do, for instants.
So then I ordered luncheon and I thought some champagne would make her feel quite good for luncheon so I asked her if she liked champagne. So she really likes champagne very very much but Miss Chapman thinks it is not so nice for a person to drink liquor. But I told her that I was a Christian science, and all of we Christian science seem to believe that there can not really be any harm in anything, so how can there be any harm in a small size bottle of champagne? So she never seemed to look at it in that kind of a light before, because she said that Miss Chapman believed in Christian science also, but what Miss Chapman believed about things that were good for you to drink seemed to apply more towards water. So then we had luncheon and she began to feel very very good. So I thought that we had better have another bottle of champagne because I told her that I was such an ardent Christian science that I did not even believe there could be any harm in two bottles of champagne. So we had another bottle of champagne and she became very intreeged about Christian science because she said that she really thought it was a better religion than Prespyterians. So she said Miss Chapman used to try to get her to use it on things, but Miss Chapman never seemed to have such a large size grasp of the Christian science religion as I seem to have.
So then I told her that I thought Miss Chapman was jealous of her good looks. So then she said that that was true, because Miss Chapman would always make her wear hats that were made out of black horses hair because horses hair does not weigh so much on a persons brain. So I told her I was going to give her one of my hats that has got quite large size roses on it. So then I got it out, but we could not get it on her head because hats are quite