Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners [37]
against this wicked temptation I had strove for a twelvemonth before; yea, and also when it did pass through my heart, it did in spite of my teeth: wherefore I thought I had a right to enter this city, and the elders, which are the APOSTLES, were not to deliver me up. This therefore was great comfort to me, and gave me much ground of hope.
220. Yet being very critical, for my smart had made me that I knew not what ground was sure enough to bear me, I had one question that my soul did much desire to be resolved about; and that was, WHETHER IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ANY SOUL THAT HATH SINNED THE UNPARDONABLE SIN, YET AFTER THAT TO RECEIVE, THOUGH BUT THE LEAST, TRUE SPIRITUAL COMFORT FROM GOD THOUGH CHRIST? The which after I had much considered, I found the answer was, No, they could not; and that for these reasons:-
221. FIRST, Because those that have sinned that sin, they are debarred a share in the blood of Christ; and being shut out of that, they must needs be void of the least ground of hope, and so of spiritual comfort; FOR TO SUCH THERE REMAINS NO MORE SACRIFICE FOR SIN. Heb. x. 26, 27. SECONDLY, Because they are denied a share in the promise of life: IT SHALL NEVER BE FORGIVEN HIM NEITHER IN THIS WORLD, NEITHER IN THE WORLD TO COME. Matt. xii. 32. THIRDLY, The Son of God excludes them also from a share in His blessed intercession, being for ever ashamed to own them, both before His holy Father, and the blessed angels in heaven. Mark viii.
222. When I had with much deliberation considered of this matter, and could not but conclude that the Lord had comforted me, and that too after this my wicked sin: then methought I durst venture to come nigh unto those most fearful and terrible scriptures, with which all this while I had been so greatly affrighted, and on which indeed, before I durst scarce cast mine eye (yea, had much ado an hundred times, to forbear wishing them out of the Bible), for I thought they would destroy me; but now, I say, I began to take some measure of encouragement, to come close to them to read them, and consider them, and to weigh their scope and tendency.
223. The which when I began to do, I found their visage changed: for they looked not so grimly, as before I thought they did: and first I came to the sixth of the HEBREWS, yet trembling for fear it should strike me; which when I had considered, I found that the falling there intended, was a falling QUITE AWAY; that is as I conceived, a falling from and absolute denying of the gospel, of remission of sins by Jesus Christ; for, from them the apostle begins his argument, verses 1, 2, 3, 4. SECONDLY, I found that this falling away, must be openly, even in the view of the world, even so as TO PUT CHRIST TO AN OPEN SHAME. THIRDLY, I found those he there intended, were for ever shut up of God, both in blindness, hardness, and impenitency: IT IS IMPOSSIBLE THEY SHOULD BE RENEWED AGAIN UNTO REPENTANCE. By all these particulars, I found to God's everlasting praise, my sin was not the sin in this place intended.
FIRST, I confessed I was fallen, but not fallen away; that is, from the profession of faith in Jesus unto eternal life.
SECONDLY, I confessed that I had put Jesus Christ to SHAME by my sin, but not to open SHAME; I did not deny Him before men, nor condemn Him as a fruitless One before the world.
THIRDLY, Nor did I find that God had shut me up, or denied me to come (though I found it hard work indeed to come) to Him by sorrow and repentance: blessed be God for unsearchable grace!
224. Then I considered that in the 10th chapter of the HEBREWS, and found that the WILFUL SIN there mentioned, is not every wilful sin, but that which doth throw off Christ, and then His commandments too. SECONDLY, That must be done also openly, before two or three witnesses, to answer that of the law, VERSE 28. THIRDLY, This sin cannot be committed, but with great despite done to the Spirit of Grace; despising both the dissuasions from that sin, and the persuasions to the contrary.
220. Yet being very critical, for my smart had made me that I knew not what ground was sure enough to bear me, I had one question that my soul did much desire to be resolved about; and that was, WHETHER IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ANY SOUL THAT HATH SINNED THE UNPARDONABLE SIN, YET AFTER THAT TO RECEIVE, THOUGH BUT THE LEAST, TRUE SPIRITUAL COMFORT FROM GOD THOUGH CHRIST? The which after I had much considered, I found the answer was, No, they could not; and that for these reasons:-
221. FIRST, Because those that have sinned that sin, they are debarred a share in the blood of Christ; and being shut out of that, they must needs be void of the least ground of hope, and so of spiritual comfort; FOR TO SUCH THERE REMAINS NO MORE SACRIFICE FOR SIN. Heb. x. 26, 27. SECONDLY, Because they are denied a share in the promise of life: IT SHALL NEVER BE FORGIVEN HIM NEITHER IN THIS WORLD, NEITHER IN THE WORLD TO COME. Matt. xii. 32. THIRDLY, The Son of God excludes them also from a share in His blessed intercession, being for ever ashamed to own them, both before His holy Father, and the blessed angels in heaven. Mark viii.
222. When I had with much deliberation considered of this matter, and could not but conclude that the Lord had comforted me, and that too after this my wicked sin: then methought I durst venture to come nigh unto those most fearful and terrible scriptures, with which all this while I had been so greatly affrighted, and on which indeed, before I durst scarce cast mine eye (yea, had much ado an hundred times, to forbear wishing them out of the Bible), for I thought they would destroy me; but now, I say, I began to take some measure of encouragement, to come close to them to read them, and consider them, and to weigh their scope and tendency.
223. The which when I began to do, I found their visage changed: for they looked not so grimly, as before I thought they did: and first I came to the sixth of the HEBREWS, yet trembling for fear it should strike me; which when I had considered, I found that the falling there intended, was a falling QUITE AWAY; that is as I conceived, a falling from and absolute denying of the gospel, of remission of sins by Jesus Christ; for, from them the apostle begins his argument, verses 1, 2, 3, 4. SECONDLY, I found that this falling away, must be openly, even in the view of the world, even so as TO PUT CHRIST TO AN OPEN SHAME. THIRDLY, I found those he there intended, were for ever shut up of God, both in blindness, hardness, and impenitency: IT IS IMPOSSIBLE THEY SHOULD BE RENEWED AGAIN UNTO REPENTANCE. By all these particulars, I found to God's everlasting praise, my sin was not the sin in this place intended.
FIRST, I confessed I was fallen, but not fallen away; that is, from the profession of faith in Jesus unto eternal life.
SECONDLY, I confessed that I had put Jesus Christ to SHAME by my sin, but not to open SHAME; I did not deny Him before men, nor condemn Him as a fruitless One before the world.
THIRDLY, Nor did I find that God had shut me up, or denied me to come (though I found it hard work indeed to come) to Him by sorrow and repentance: blessed be God for unsearchable grace!
224. Then I considered that in the 10th chapter of the HEBREWS, and found that the WILFUL SIN there mentioned, is not every wilful sin, but that which doth throw off Christ, and then His commandments too. SECONDLY, That must be done also openly, before two or three witnesses, to answer that of the law, VERSE 28. THIRDLY, This sin cannot be committed, but with great despite done to the Spirit of Grace; despising both the dissuasions from that sin, and the persuasions to the contrary.