Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners [38]
But the Lord knows, though this my sin was devilish, yet it did not amount to these.
225. And as touching that in the 12th of the HEBREWS, about ESAU'S selling of his birthright; though this was that which killed me, and stood like a spear against me, yet now I did consider, FIRST, that his was not a hasty thought against the continual labour of his mind, but a thought consented to, and put in practice likewise, and that after some deliberation, Gen. xxv. SECONDLY, It was a public and open action, even before his brother, if not before many more; this made his sin of a far more heinous nature than otherwise it would have been. THIRDLY, He continued to slight his birthright: HE DID EAT AND DRINK, AND WENT HIS WAY: thus Esau DESPISED HIS BIRTHRIGHT, yea, twenty years after he was found to despise it still. And Esau said, I HAVE ENOUGH, MY BROTHER, KEEP THAT THOU HAST UNTO THYSELF. Gen. xxxiii. 9.
226. Now as touching this, THAT Esau SOUGHT A PLACE OF REPENTANCE; thus I thought: FIRST, This was not for the BIRTHRIGHT, but THE BLESSING: this is clear from the apostle, and is distinguished by Esau himself; HE TOOK AWAY MY BIRTHRIGHT (that is, formerly); AND BEHOLD NOW HE HATH TAKEN AWAY MY BLESSING. Gen. xxvii. 36. SECONDLY, Now, this being thus considered, I came again to the apostle, to see what might be the mind of God, in a New-Testament style and sense concerning ESAU'S sin; and so far as I could conceive, this was the mind of God, THAT THE BIRTHRIGHT signified REGENERATION, and the BLESSING, the ETERNAL INHERITANCE; for so the apostle seems to hint. LEST THERE BE ANY PROFANE PERSON, AS Esau, WHO FOR ONE MORSEL OF MEAT SOLD HIS BIRTHRIGHT; as if he should say, That shall cast off all those blessed beginnings of God, that at present are upon him, in order to a new-birth; lest they become as ESAU, even be rejected AFTERWARDS, when they would inherit the blessing.
227. For many there are, who, in the day of grace and mercy, despise those things which are indeed the birthright to heaven, who yet when the deciding day appears, will cry as lord as ESAU, LORD, LORD, OPEN TO US; but then, as ISAAC would not repent, no more will God the Father, but will say, I HAVE BLESSED THESE, YEA, and THEY SHALL BE BLESSED; but as for you, DEPART, YOU ARE THE WORKERS OF INIQUITY. Gen. xxvii. 32; Luke xiii. 25-27.
228. When I had thus considered these scriptures, and found that thus to understand them, was not against, but according to other scriptures; this still added further to my encouragement and comfort, and also gave a great blow to that objection, to wit, THAT THE SCRIPTURES COULD NOT AGREE IN THE SALVATION OF MY SOUL. And now remained only the hinder part of the tempest, for the thunder was gone beyond me, only some drops did still remain, that now and then would fall upon me; but because my former frights and anguish were very sore and deep, therefore it oft befall me still, as it befalleth those that have been scared with fire. I thought every voice was, FIRE! FIRE! Every little touch would hurt my tender conscience.
229. But one day, as I was passing in the field, and that too with some dashes on my conscience, fearing lest yet all was not right, suddenly this sentence fell upon my soul, THY RIGHTEOUSNESS IS IN HEAVEN; and methought withal, I saw with the eyes of my soul, Jesus Christ at God's right hand: there, I say, was my righteousness; so that wherever I was, or whatever I was doing, God could not say of me, HE WANTS MY RIGHTEOUSNESS; for that was just before Him. I also saw moreover, that it was not my good frame of heart that made my righteousness better, nor yet my bad frame that made my righteousness worse; for my righteousness was Jesus Christ Himself, THE SAME YESTERDAY, TO-DAY, AND FOR EVER. Heb. xiii. 8.
230. Now did my chains fall off my legs indeed; I was loosed from my afflictions and irons; my temptations also fled away; so that from that time those dreadful scriptures of God left off to trouble me: now went I also
225. And as touching that in the 12th of the HEBREWS, about ESAU'S selling of his birthright; though this was that which killed me, and stood like a spear against me, yet now I did consider, FIRST, that his was not a hasty thought against the continual labour of his mind, but a thought consented to, and put in practice likewise, and that after some deliberation, Gen. xxv. SECONDLY, It was a public and open action, even before his brother, if not before many more; this made his sin of a far more heinous nature than otherwise it would have been. THIRDLY, He continued to slight his birthright: HE DID EAT AND DRINK, AND WENT HIS WAY: thus Esau DESPISED HIS BIRTHRIGHT, yea, twenty years after he was found to despise it still. And Esau said, I HAVE ENOUGH, MY BROTHER, KEEP THAT THOU HAST UNTO THYSELF. Gen. xxxiii. 9.
226. Now as touching this, THAT Esau SOUGHT A PLACE OF REPENTANCE; thus I thought: FIRST, This was not for the BIRTHRIGHT, but THE BLESSING: this is clear from the apostle, and is distinguished by Esau himself; HE TOOK AWAY MY BIRTHRIGHT (that is, formerly); AND BEHOLD NOW HE HATH TAKEN AWAY MY BLESSING. Gen. xxvii. 36. SECONDLY, Now, this being thus considered, I came again to the apostle, to see what might be the mind of God, in a New-Testament style and sense concerning ESAU'S sin; and so far as I could conceive, this was the mind of God, THAT THE BIRTHRIGHT signified REGENERATION, and the BLESSING, the ETERNAL INHERITANCE; for so the apostle seems to hint. LEST THERE BE ANY PROFANE PERSON, AS Esau, WHO FOR ONE MORSEL OF MEAT SOLD HIS BIRTHRIGHT; as if he should say, That shall cast off all those blessed beginnings of God, that at present are upon him, in order to a new-birth; lest they become as ESAU, even be rejected AFTERWARDS, when they would inherit the blessing.
227. For many there are, who, in the day of grace and mercy, despise those things which are indeed the birthright to heaven, who yet when the deciding day appears, will cry as lord as ESAU, LORD, LORD, OPEN TO US; but then, as ISAAC would not repent, no more will God the Father, but will say, I HAVE BLESSED THESE, YEA, and THEY SHALL BE BLESSED; but as for you, DEPART, YOU ARE THE WORKERS OF INIQUITY. Gen. xxvii. 32; Luke xiii. 25-27.
228. When I had thus considered these scriptures, and found that thus to understand them, was not against, but according to other scriptures; this still added further to my encouragement and comfort, and also gave a great blow to that objection, to wit, THAT THE SCRIPTURES COULD NOT AGREE IN THE SALVATION OF MY SOUL. And now remained only the hinder part of the tempest, for the thunder was gone beyond me, only some drops did still remain, that now and then would fall upon me; but because my former frights and anguish were very sore and deep, therefore it oft befall me still, as it befalleth those that have been scared with fire. I thought every voice was, FIRE! FIRE! Every little touch would hurt my tender conscience.
229. But one day, as I was passing in the field, and that too with some dashes on my conscience, fearing lest yet all was not right, suddenly this sentence fell upon my soul, THY RIGHTEOUSNESS IS IN HEAVEN; and methought withal, I saw with the eyes of my soul, Jesus Christ at God's right hand: there, I say, was my righteousness; so that wherever I was, or whatever I was doing, God could not say of me, HE WANTS MY RIGHTEOUSNESS; for that was just before Him. I also saw moreover, that it was not my good frame of heart that made my righteousness better, nor yet my bad frame that made my righteousness worse; for my righteousness was Jesus Christ Himself, THE SAME YESTERDAY, TO-DAY, AND FOR EVER. Heb. xiii. 8.
230. Now did my chains fall off my legs indeed; I was loosed from my afflictions and irons; my temptations also fled away; so that from that time those dreadful scriptures of God left off to trouble me: now went I also