Half Moon Investigations - Eoin Colfer [37]
Red tugged his father’s sleeve again. ‘Papa, if I don’t clear up this assault thing, they could take me away. I know that I’ve been in fights before, but no Sharkey would ever sneak around in the night beating up midgets like Half Moon. Don’t underestimate him, though. He’s titchy, but he’s as sharp as a razor. He nailed Roddy fair and square for stealing Bella’s organizer.’
Herod slapped the table with both hands, his face distorted in a scowl. He looked like a ginger monkey.
‘I did not take that stupid thing!’ he objected. ‘Half Moon set me up. I was framed!’
The Sharkeys laughed, all except Herod.
‘Of course you were,’ said Papa. ‘If I had a penny for every time you said that, I’d buy the Dublin Spire and feed the parking meter for a month with the change.’
Papa picked up another sausage, waggling it at Red. ‘The two of you have twenty-four hours to play Sherlock Holmes. After that, Half Moon goes home. His parents must be losing their minds. I don’t want to be accused of kidnapping along with everything else.’
I frowned. Twenty-four hours. Not a lot of time to clear up a major case.
‘I’ll need my stuff. My laptop and notes.’
‘Not a problem,’ said Red, looking slightly shifty. ‘Follow me.’
He led me down the corridor, past a dozen Sacred Heart lamps, into the end bedroom. Unlike in the room where I had slept, the decor was quite tasteful. In fact…
‘This is my stuff!’ I shouted, gathering my duvet in my arms. ‘You burgled my house!’
‘I thought you might need your detective gear,’ said Red. ‘I told Genie and Roddy only to take your computer and any maps or files. They got a bit carried away.’
I grabbed a reading lamp. ‘They didn’t hurt anyone?’
‘No. Your parents were out looking for you last night. It was perfect.’
I felt as though my heart had turned to ash and a good breeze would scatter it irretrievably. I had caused my parents pain.
‘I need to go home,’ I whispered.
Red took the lamp gently. ‘In twenty-four hours, Half Moon. As soon as you’ve solved this case.’
‘How can I solve anything?’ I asked, feeling desperate and alone.
Red shrugged, heading back to the kitchen. ‘You’re the detective, Moon. Detect something.’
I followed him, spreading my arms. ‘I can’t set foot outside the front door without being arrested.’
Red wiggled his eyebrows, as though he was the man with all the answers. ‘I have a plan.’
‘What plan?’ Suddenly I was nervous.
‘Actually, it was Genie’s idea. We were working on it all night. It’s simple. You become one of us. A Sharkey. No one will look at you twice.’
I didn’t like the sound of this plan much. ‘I don’t think that’s going to work.’
Genie was suddenly fluttering around me like a shop assistant.
‘Of course it will,’ she said. ‘Your tan is coming on nicely.’
‘What tan?’
Genie took my hand, leading me to a full-length mirror. It barely registered that the mirror was from my own bedroom.
‘You look like one of us already.’
Terror took hold of my gut. I couldn’t look.
‘Go on,’ said Genie. ‘It’s not that bad.’
That might have been encouraging, had everyone not collapsed in fits of giggles.
‘Oh no, please no,’ I said, because I had looked.
Someone had cut my dark hair as I slumbered in a deep painkiller-induced sleep, and what was left of it was dyed red.
And that wasn’t the worst of it. Dangling from my left ear was a large silver pirate hoop. Genie flicked the earring with a spangled nail. It pinged.
‘Sign of quality,’ she said. ‘I think it suits you.’
My complexion was several shades darker than normal. I tried to rub off the colour but it refused to shift.
‘Hollywood Glow fake tan,’ explained Genie. ‘It’s a bit patchy because I didn’t have time for moisturizer. That stuff won’t wash off for at least a week. Your elbows and knees may be brown for a few weeks. It says on the box not to use it on the facial area, but if you’re not burning by now, then you’re probably OK. OK?’
My nose was still swollen, and between the dyed head, the swelling and the new colour I was a different person.
Genie rolled up my