Half Moon Investigations - Eoin Colfer [75]
Principal Quinn bowed slightly. Mockingly.
Red grinned feebly and stepped up to the microphone to a slight smattering of applause. The clapping was almost drowned out by a sea of buzzing, as muted mobile phones received text messages. The word of my presence was spreading.
Red struck a pose, waiting for Genie to cue the minidisc player on the stool behind her. A moment later the sound of an Elvis backing track filled the hall.
‘Love me tender,’ he sang in a beautiful sultry tenor.
Genie and Herod swayed in unison behind the second mike, bumping me on both sides.
‘Ooh ooh ooh,’ they sang.
‘Oops, ooh, sorry,’ I moaned.
‘Love me sweet…’
He never got past the second line, because hundreds of students were pulling out their mobile phones. The text jumped cricket-like from phone to phone as everybody read it, then passed it on to everyone in their phone book. May’s words had spread through the audience like a virus.
U R not gng 2 blve ds. 1/2 Moon is here.
I knew what was happening. I felt as though my disguise was becoming slowly transparent. Students were staring at me. Initially in disbelief, then with dawning realization as their brains ran an identikit on my features. One little first-class girl put her finger on it.
She stood slowly, still deciphering the message on her phone screen. I have always thought that seven was too young for a mobile phone. Now I was certain of it.
‘That ugly boy,’ she said, pointing to me in case anyone was in doubt as to who exactly the ugly boy was. ‘My phone says he’s Half Moon.’
I expected instant chaos. I was wrong. This was such a fantastic situation. So unusual, so exciting, that no one wanted it to end. My audience froze, willing me to speak. Principal Quinn and Guard Cassidy were the exceptions, but they were being held back by the throng in the wings. They wouldn’t be held back forever. I had ten seconds to solve this case.
The clues whirled in my head. Red was right. There was no denying it. Only one person had benefited from each and every incident, and I had been blind not to see it. The truth hit me like a series of fireworks inside my brain. Emotions and allegiances became unimportant. Truth was truth. This is the burden of the detective.
I stepped forward in a daze. Knowing something and making others believe it were two different things. My words would mean nothing unless they could be confirmed by the guilty party. I had to force a confession. Nothing else would save me.
I turned quickly to Herod.
‘I need your help,’ I whispered, covering the mike. ‘Red needs it too.’
Herod squinted at me, and the desperation in my eyes told him that this was not the time to argue.
He nodded briefly, and I whispered to him what might need to be done.
A smile lit up his little face. ‘It’s the opposite to what I generally do.’
I pulled the microphone from its stand. It came away, trailing a ribbon of duct tape. Time to face my public.
‘Hello, Lock,’ I said, smiling a watery smile.
Beside me Herod groaned, and Genie covered her face. I glanced across at Red. He bowed, yielding the stage to me. If I didn’t pull this off, all the Sharkeys were for the high jump, including the fake one.
Someone called from the back rows. ‘Is it really you, Half Moon? Are you really an obsessive compulsive schizophrenic?’
Some people should not be allowed to watch television after nine.
‘Yes, it is really me,’ I replied, my voice booming and hollow through the hall’s speakers. ‘I’ve come here because I am innocent, and I can prove it.’
The statement was met with a wall of cynicism. I felt like a lone archer trying to breach the walls of Troy. Still, no one rushed the stage. It was the kind of real-life adventure that people would never forget.
Even Principal Quinn and Guard Cassidy were hooked. They were no longer