Happily Ever After_ - Benison Anne O'Reilly [102]
‘Well in my eyes that wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing. I promise that I am not going to say anything but do you really think you have a solid foundation for a marriage? You have both cheated.’
‘Are you judging me? I think you would have been the last person to complain. I don’t care how attractive you are - there is no way I would ever have gone home with you if Tony had remained the man I married. And you should be hoping he doesn’t find out as he might just kill you.’
‘I’m not judging you. I understand all that completely. But you’re now going to have to go through life living a lie and because you are an ethical person that’s going to be very hard.’
‘You told me you wouldn’t bring this up.’ I turned my back to him. Why did we ever think it would be okay to talk?
‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry baby…I’m such a jerk. Please don’t be angry. The last thing I want to do now is fight with you. I promise I won’t say another word,’ he soothed. He burrowed his face into my neck, kissing me again and again until my anger had to cede its place to desire and we made love again, this time for the very last time.
An hour or so before dawn I lay with my head on his chest while he twirled my hair into little corkscrews around his finger, over and over. I must have dozed off briefly, only to be woken by the chime of my mobile phone.
‘That must be Melanie,’ I said. ‘Is it that time already?’ But when I checked my messages it wasn’t from Melanie. It was Tony saying: r u ok?
‘Shit!’
‘What’s the matter?’
‘It’s Tony wondering where I am. What’s he doing awake? I better go.’
‘No - not yet.’
‘I’ve got to. Can you call me a taxi while I get dressed? I can’t risk you driving me home.’
I texted Tony back: Fine home soon.
A few minutes later Melanie’s message came through.
The taxi came too quickly and sounded its horn.
Alex had thrown on some clothes and followed me downstairs. As the taxi idled I gestured to the driver: one more minute please.
I turned to Alex, my hands pressing his arms in a firm hold. ‘Thank you, thank you for everything. Please know that letting you go is almost the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life…second only to saying goodbye to my baby son.’
‘But you’re not in love with me are you? Not the way I am about you.’
‘No, you’re wrong. I am in love with you. If nothing else I’ve realised that these last few weeks. If it was a simple choice between you and my husband there wouldn’t be one. But I haven’t got that choice and I’ve got to do what’s best. I know you will meet someone else soon and she will be the luckiest girl in the world.’
‘But if it doesn’t work out, remember I’m still first in the queue.’
‘There’ll be no-one else in the queue.’
Then I kissed him for the last time, and because he wouldn’t, I had to be the one to pull away in the end. As the taxi drove off I turned around to see him still standing there, just watching.
The drive was quick - too quick for me to get my bearings. I was home in five minutes. I removed my sandals and tried to enter the house as silently as possible - ‘click, clack’, the sound of the front door lock seemed to reverberate through the night - and then fidgeted and twitched fruitlessly in the living room, hoping that if I waited long enough Tony might fall asleep again…
He emerged from the bedroom a minute or two later, wearing nothing but boxers. ‘I thought I heard the door. I didn’t know you were planning to be out so late.’
‘Oh, sorry about that.’
‘Did you have a good time?’
‘Yeah, great.’
‘I woke up after a couple of hours and haven’t been able to sleep since. I’m so turned on by you in that dress. Come to bed will you.’
Oh my God, what am I going to do?
‘Oh sweetheart,’ I said, ‘I know I promised but I’m really tired.’
‘That’s fine,’ he said, in a manner that suggested it was anything but.
‘If you let me sleep in a bit, I promise I will make it up to you tonight with interest. We can get a babysitter and go out to dinner first if you like.’
‘Alright - I might as well go back to sleep myself then.’
‘Thanks