Have a New Kid by Friday - Dr Kevin Leman [109]
Stan, New York
“My youngest daughter, Mary, has always been achallenge, but her behavior ramped up a notch whenshe turned 4. Nobody wanted to babysit for me anymore because they said Mary was impossible to control. I knew I had to do something. I was letting a 4-year-old ruleour home. My husband and I couldn’t even go out forour once-a-month date night anymore because she was such a handful. We tried your strategies, and they work! After she threw a screaming fit, Mary spent 20 minutesoutside our kitchen door, peering in while the rest of the family ate chocolate cake, her favorite dessert . . . andthere wasn’t any left over when she was finally done with her power tantrum. I waited 3 days, then made chocolate cake again. This time Mary joined us with no fussingand even said ‘please’ when I asked if she’d like a piece! That’s incredible in our home. My other children justlooked at me with big eyes. My oldest child winked andsaid, ‘Guess it’s working, Mom.’”
Betty, Iowa
“Devin was always a great kid. Then he turned 14. All of a sudden he started wearing black all the time, gothis entire arm tattooed without our permission, refused to participate in family activities, wouldn’t go to churchwith us anymore, and was surly every time I asked hima question. I finally sighed and gave up, figuring it wasjust a phase. I hoped he’d outgrow it. But it bugged mejust the same. He always expected us to be there forhim when he wanted something—like to be driven to afriend’s house—but he never showed us any respect. Finally I decided I’d refuse to drive him anywhere afterschool. It took 3 days of him calling me ‘stinkin’ crazy’and telling me it was my problem before he finally gotquiet and asked why . . . but what followed was the first good conversation we’ve had for nearly 6 months. Thatwas last night, and tonight he not only showed up for ourfamily dinner, he asked what he could do to help. I knowthe fight isn’t all over, but at least now we’re talking.”
Jane, Illinois
“Dinnertime was always a big battle zone. Neitherof my kids ever liked what I cooked, and they alwayscomplained. Based on your principles, I decided that I’dmake dinner for my husband and myself and just servemy kids empty plates. They couldn’t believe it! But theygot the message. I’m not on this earth to be a short-ordercook for them. And guess what? Last week theyeven offered to cook dinner for all of us . . . and theycleaned up too!”
Amy, Texas
“My son didn’t find a job after college, so he settled inback at home. Two years later, he was still at home, andit didn’t seem like he was making any effort to find a job. I work full time and take care of my aging mother, so I’m gone from home a lot. I’d come home to stacks ofdirty dishes and Nate sitting on the couch, eating pizza. Itwasn’t until I took your principles to heart and got toughthat things changed. I told him that to earn his keep,there were certain things he’d have to do around thehouse—and I left him a big list. I also stopped paying forcable TV and his Internet service, and I bought only thefood I needed and took a stash from my pantry in to workand over to my mother’s. His first response was shock,then anger. But after 3 weeks, he knew I meant business. I was asking him to stand up and be a man instead of ababy. Two weeks after that, he started job hunting andnow has a job that pays for his own apartment.”
Kari, Indiana
“I can’t believe I’m writing a letter to tell you thisbecause I’m not a letter-writing kind of guy. In the last 3 years, my wife and I have felt exhausted constantlybecause we couldn’t get our 6-year-old, Jessie, to stayin bed. She’s always roaming the house all through thenight, asking for drinks of water and snacks. We tookyour advice and insisted she stay in bed. When she didn’t, we firmly closed