Have a New Kid by Friday - Dr Kevin Leman [31]
As a child gets older, increase that child’s allowance with respect to her age. The more money you give your older child in her allowance, the more the child can do with it, whether saving or spending.
Our Lauren, who is now 15, loves to save her allowance. Someday she’ll be happy to have a little nest egg all her own for a special purchase. Little Kayla, who is 8, is also a saver. She puts every penny she receives into her buy-a-horse-someday fund. But last year, when she heard about a little girl who lost her home in a flood, she dipped into her allowance and sent that girl’s family a special gift—from her very own heart and finances.
Kyle, who is 11, discovered quickly that money doesn’t grow on trees and that what’s hot among his peer group today may not be hot tomorrow. It took half a year’s allowance to buy a skateboard. Three weeks after his purchase, his classmates laughed at his skateboard because it wasn’t the latest and greatest anymore. Now Kyle tends to buy only things that he really wants—not items that he thinks will make him popular.
Children need to know that when the money is spent, it’s spent. There’s no free lunch in life.
If your child asks for more money because he’s used up what he has, say, “Well, payday isn’t until Saturday. I’m sure you’ll make something work.” Would it kill your son to pack a lunch for school instead of going out with his buddies to the local pizza joint?
Would you say to your boss, “Hey, I need more money to last me until Saturday”? Then don’t allow your kids to manipulate you either.
But should you ever pay your children for specific jobs? Let’s say that your daughter comes to you and says, “I’d like to earn some extra money this summer. Anything I can do around here?”
“Well,” you say, “I’ve wanted to get the garage painted for 2 years. If you paint the garage, I’ll give you $100.”
Such a deal, which is beyond the norm of your child’s usual responsibilities, is a great way for you not only to get a job done but also to allow your child the opportunity to earn additional money for a special project. And when the painting is complete, you can bet your daughter will look at that garage every day and be satisfied with her accomplishment.
Children need to know that upholding their end of the bargain as a family member is important. If they don’t, there are consequences.
For instance, let’s say your 14-year-old doesn’t mow the lawn like he’s supposed to. Instead of nagging or bickering with him about when he’ll do it, what if you just quietly hired another sibling or someone from the neighborhood to cut the lawn? What if the money it cost to hire that person was taken out of your son’s allowance the following week? Do you think you’d get the message across quickly?
Let’s say that your older child always does everything you expect her to do. You can count on her jobs being done; you don’t even have to check.
Then there’s her younger sibling who hates to do a lick of work but is supposed to clean out his room. When he doesn’t, what do you usually do? Rag on him, right?
What if, instead of saying anything at all, you asked his sister to go in and clean his room, and you paid her $4 out of your son’s next allowance for doing so? Chances are, little brother isn’t going to be happy that (1) he lost some of his allowance, and (2) his sister was in his room.
But do you think you got your point across that all family members are expected to pitch in, and when they don’t, they have to pay someone else to do what was expected of them?
Allowances teach children how to manage money—and they also teach children firsthand about consequences. For example, I could run my car through the car wash and hand the workers