Have a New Kid by Friday - Dr Kevin Leman [44]
If your child is the one being bullied, report the behavior immediately to the child’s teacher. If the teacher doesn’t give you specific feedback, such as, “Thank you for letting me know. I will be on top of this and watching for it. Let your child know to come immediately to me if she feels threatened,” then you haven’t been heard and the teacher doesn’t consider bullying behavior serious. The next step is to go to the principal. You cannot take bullying lightly, nor can you take the “wait and see” approach. Too many children get the tar beaten out of them by bullies. Although their physical wounds may heal, their emotions may not. Bullies don’t stop easily, so you have to be vigilant. You have to put safeguards in the system to stop bullying behavior. The playground monitor, the teacher, the principal, and both sets of parents must be aware of the behavior and that it must stop.
In short, bullies and bullying should never be treated lightly.
Carelessness with Money
“Every time Timothy gets money, he seems to lose it. So he’s always asking for more.”
“As soon as Jan gets money from her grandma, she spends it. And it’s usually on things that I think are really—uh, how else can I say this?—stupid. How can I teach her the value of money?”
Let me ask you a question: where do your children get their money? If you haven’t yet read the section on allowances, now’s the time to do so.
If you started your child on an allowance at 5 years old and he seems to always be losing his money, perhaps he’s too young to have an allowance. Maybe you should wait until he’s 7 and can keep better track of his money. Every child is unique—and that includes the rate at which their level of responsibility grows.
But let’s say your child loses his allowance the first week you give it to him. What should you do? The number 1 rule is: don’t replace it. When you’re at a 7-Eleven and he wants a Slurpee, say, “Sure, you can buy one with your allowance if you want.”
“Uh, I don’t know where my money is,” he says.
Your response? “When you find your allowance, bring it with you next time we come, and you can buy a Slurpee.”
Think that kid will keep better track of his money?
If your child tends to spend money carelessly—always buying whatever he wants at the moment rather than saving up for something special—simply let reality be the teacher. When your son wants that new bike, say, “Sure, Jeff, you can buy that with your money.” And when he gets that crestfallen look, knowing he’s spent all his money on things that have already been eaten or discarded or broken, don’t rescue him. When your daughter gets her ears pierced and wants to get diamond studs for her “new look,” don’t fall for her “Please, Mom!” If you let her save her money, you can bet she’ll take much better care of those diamond studs.
Cell Phones
“But, Dad, all my friends have them!”
“When Jason started playing football in junior high, we got him a cell phone. That way I knew I could work in the office until he called me from the locker room to say he was done. By the time he took a shower, I was there to pick him up.”
Cell phone or no cell phone? At what age should you consider getting a child a cell phone?
You see it everywhere these days: kids walking down the street and even into school, talking on their cell phones. The other day I walked into my daughter’s school and saw a first grader talking on a cell phone . . . and it wasn’t a pretend one either.
When our daughter Lauren was 14, she really wanted a cell phone. All her friends had one. So Sande cut her a deal that she’d get her one for her birthday in the summer if she continued to do well at school.
I’m not crazy about younger children having cell phones. Children don’t need them and can’t use them during school (at least in most