Have a New Kid by Friday - Dr Kevin Leman [55]
1. Quickly swipe all his remaining food onto the floor. (Watching it fall and splatter is such entertainment. So is watching Mom or Dad come running! It doesn’t matter whether it’s at home or in a restaurant. Your toddler isn’t embarrassed at all by such behavior. He thinks it’s fun.)
2. Remove the tray to the best of his ability and begin to climb out of his high chair.
So what can you do? First of all, realize that children are naturally noisy. Those long dinners where you chatted about the future, held each other’s hands, and gazed into each other’s eyes are over (except for your date nights). Life has changed.
Second, doing what comes naturally isn’t “naughty” to a child. Hey, the 12-month-old thinks, when I throw my Cheerios off my high chair, Mom comes running. Let’s see how many times she’ll do that.
Third, we ask too much of children, depending on their age, when we make them sit for long periods in chairs or high chairs. So many parents end up sticking their young children in high chairs and feeding them snacks before dinner, just so they can get dinner on the table for everyone else. That doesn’t work. By the time you have dinner made, those toddlers are too full of snacks to eat a real dinner and too itchy to sit any longer in that uncomfortable high chair.
So what’s the answer? Feed your children, as much as possible, when you eat, or at least the same food that you eat (even if mushed up and served in installments as you cook it). Also, teach your child something very important: once they get down from that high chair, the meal is over. That means no coming back to the table for another bite. The same holds true for home as for a restaurant.
If you teach your young children this, they will sit for as long as they are hungry and then disappear from the dinner table, leaving you to get a word in edgewise with your spouse or other children.
Of course, this works very well at home, where your child has toys to play with, but is more difficult at a restaurant. That’s why, when the children are small, for a while you may want to come up with more creative options than the typical restaurant outing. You’ll be happier, your child will be happier, and the patrons of the restaurant you didn’t go to will thank you.
Fears/Fearfulness
It happens in every home, including yours. You sigh with relief after getting the kids in bed . . . but 5 minutes later you see big, expressive eyes peering at you from around the corner. It’s your youngest child.
“What are you doing up?” you ask in your sternest voice.
“I’m afraid of the dark,” the little voice quivers.
But what’s really going on?
Remember, kids are unionized. And if you have more than one child, your children have sent the youngest as an advance scout—as the scapegoat. I know all about that because when I was young, my older brother and sister used to con me into going back out to the living room after we were supposed to be in bed. I was the guinea pig . . . or the sacrifice, whichever way you want to look at it. If they wanted Wheaties cereal for a snack, they’d send me. Why send the youngest out to do the dirty work? As far as siblings are concerned, if he gets killed, who cares? They don’t like him anyway.
The truth is, research shows that the child less likely to be punished is the baby of the family. He gets away with murder with Mom and Dad. Your children instinctively know this. They’re smart. So the 11-year-old and the 9-year-old tell the 4-year-old to go out there. And the 4-year-old’s dumb enough to do it. Once the 4-year-old is out there and successfully negotiating a deal with you, two more shadows will appear in the hallway.
“What are you two doing out of bed?”
you bark.
“Corey’s out of bed,” they say.
And before long you have a nighttime party going