Have a New Kid by Friday - Dr Kevin Leman [71]
What about the child who really has talent, who has taken 4 years of violin and wants to quit? To that child I would say, “Listen, honey, I understand what you’re saying. But I’ve talked to your teacher, and she says you really have a gift for playing the violin. She says what you’re doing at this stage of your life on that instrument is highly unusual. We’ve invested 4 years in this instrument and all your lessons, and we’re not going to quit now. You deserve more. Your talents deserve to be fine-tuned. So we’re going to continue your lessons until the end of the school year, then review all this again.”
Waiting until the end of the year gives you a chance to investigate getting your child involved in some group of like-minded students (i.e., a Suzuki group, a jazz ensemble for piano, a local youth orchestra) to see if having friends who like doing the same thing will help extend your child’s interest.
Many children who are talented decide, between ages 10 and 13, that they no longer want to pursue their instrument. Often the reason is because their friends aren’t interested. Ashley had played flute for 7 years. She had won multiple awards for solo work through state music festivals. But when she turned 13, all her friends started getting interested in soccer. Going to support Ashley in concerts by listening to her play songs by Handel and Bach wasn’t big on their priority scale anymore. Her practice hours started to dwindle, and finally she told her dad she wanted to quit.
Ashley had a wise father. He encouraged her to hang in there, attended all of her events, and came up with special father/daughter surprises after every performance. Behind the scenes, he did a lot of research on music opportunities for flutists. That summer, instead of quitting, Ashley got involved with a new jazz group—all junior and senior high students—in a nearby town. They played at a lot of summer festivals, and Ashley’s interest in music expanded. At the last performance of the summer, the group played an unusual piece of music, featuring Ashley as the soloist. It was a piece that Ashley had written herself, then adapted for the other jazz musicians who played with her.
Guess who had the biggest smile and clapped the loudest in the crowd? Ashley’s dad.
MySpace.com/IM-ing
Every teen on the planet loves IM-ing, if given the chance. It’s instant contact with a friend. And MySpace.com is built to attract kids. To give them a forum to talk about what they love, what bugs them, how rotten their parents are, etc. Since these things are a fact of life, check them out for yourself. Sign up on MySpace.com as a member. It’s a great way to quietly get access to your child’s friends and to look at what they post. My son-in-law Dennis, a middle school principal, was amazed at what he found. He looked for children who were sixth graders, keyed in their names, and was stunned how many times the children used their real name (a no-no in computer land).
Looking at the topics posted and what kids say is an eye-opener for any parent. If you want to enter your child’s world, MySpace.com gives you such a window. And chances are, you won’t like it. But it will give you a gritty look at what your child is up against every day she’s at school.
Remember when you used to call your friends at night and jabber on the phone, and your parents rolled their eyes? Then they looked at the phone bill and restricted your minutes? Internet usage has made it even easier for your children, at no cost to them, to contact