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suffer from something called “secondary victimization.” They are affected by the trauma, too, even though they are only hearing about it and did not experience it firsthand. Since the invention of TV and the nightly news, all of us suffer to a certain degree from secondary victimization, caused by the incessant flow of vivid images out of the screen and into our mind—images of murder, genocide, earthquakes, and deadly epidemics. This constant bombardment creates chronic anxiety and makes us heartsick. The world is flawed, millions of innocent people suffer, and we are unable to do much to change it.

If we can decrease our intake of these toxic images, we can more easily establish a heart that is open and a mind that is serene and clear. This is the best foundation we can have if we want to move out into the world of woe and make a positive difference.

Final Words: A steady diet of negative news makes the mind ill. Give the mind the good medicine of silence, beauty, and loving friendship.

14

Loving Eyes

The Exercise: This week, endeavor to look at things and people with loving eyes. Notice any changes that occur in your eyes, face, body, heart/mind, visual field, and focus when you remember to look with loving eyes.

REMINDING YOURSELF

Find or create some images of eyes, perhaps eyes with a heart for a pupil. Post these in various places around the house, such as on the bathroom mirror, on the refrigerator, on the back of your front door.

DISCOVERIES

We know how to use loving eyes when we are falling in love, when we see a new baby or a cute animal. Why do we not use loving eyes more often? Doing this practice, we find that our usual way of looking at things is not loving. It is either neutral or somewhat negative and critical. We walk into a room and the first thing we notice is that the rug needs vacuuming. Or we greet a family member in the morning, and, instead of pausing to look him in the eye with love, we brush by, avoiding each other’s gaze and say something like, “You’ve got some toothpaste on your cheek,” or “Is that what you’re wearing today?”

We may love each other, but we forget to show it with our eyes. People often feel more comfortable, and, curiously, more intimate, when they communicate indirectly, by phone or by e-mail. I heard a teenager say that if he has something to tell his girlfriend that might be difficult to talk about, he would rather send a text message and wait for her text reply than talk to her in person. He said, “Sometimes it’s hard to talk face-to-face.” Intimacy is what we desire, but it also makes us uncomfortable. (Is this why the mind slips off the present moment so often when we are meditating? Is there too much presence in the present moment?)

When people try looking at the world with loving eyes, they report a shift in how they see objects and other people. Their focus often becomes clearer and they notice small details, as if they are looking through a magnifying lens. Some people find the opposite, that their vision is softer or a bit blurred. The visual field may change, becoming narrower or larger. Using loving eyes seems to soften the whole face and bring a slight smile to the lips. The heart/mind opens and critical thoughts melt away.

DEEPER LESSONS

There is a range of different “eyes” that we use, from angry eyes, to critical eyes, to impersonal eyes, to personal eyes, to kind eyes, to loving eyes. The eyes we choose to use will color our perception of the world, changing it from hostile to welcoming. The beings we are looking at are sensitive to which eyes we are using. The eyes we choose to use will have an effect upon our own happiness and the happiness of those beings we are looking at. To know ourselves is to know what kind of eyes we are seeing with and to be able to use these eyes skillfully.

There are five types of eyes described in Buddhist teaching. The first is the human eye. This “eye” gives us an image that we persist in regarding as complete and true, even though the visible light that we can perceive is only a very narrow portion of