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DEEPER LESSONS

How do we know that wind exists? Take a moment and ponder this.

There are four ways we experience “wind”: by feeling its touch, by feeling a change in temperature, by seeing it move other things, and by hearing it move through other things. What we call wind is essentially change, change in what we see (leaves moving), change in what we feel (cooler skin), or change in what we hear (a howling sound). We only know the existence of wind indirectly, through the nerve impulses that travel from our skin, tympanic membrane, and retinas. Actually, this is true of all that we perceive. We cannot know reality directly. There is no way to prove the independent existence of any other thing since our awareness of these others is created by electrical impulses in our nervous system.

When the mind is deeply quiet, then anything can bring sudden awakening, even the wind. In his youth Zen master Yamada Mumon was very sick with tuberculosis. Doctors predicted his death and gave up treating him. He lived in isolation for several years, resigned to death, and his mind gradually became serene and still. One bright, clear summer day he saw some flowers in the garden blown by the wind and was deeply awakened to the existence of a great power. He realized that this vast energy had given life to him and to all beings, embracing him and living through him. He wrote the following poem, and soon afterward his fatal illness was cured:

All things are embraced

Within the universal mind

Told by the cool wind

This morning.

What Mumon Roshi called “the universal mind” has been given many names. It has no boundaries. It reaches everywhere, throughout space and time. And yet, it does not manifest as anything other than each small thing, each breath, each sound, each falling flower petal floating on the wind.

Final Words: There is a subtle mindfulness practice of becoming aware of the breath at the nostrils. Try it. For hours. There is no risk, except the possibility of becoming more awake to the subtle changes that make up the fabric of our lives.

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Listen Like a Sponge

The Exercise: Listen to other people as if you were a sponge, soaking up whatever the other person says. Let the mind be quiet, and just take it in. Don’t formulate any response in the mind until a response is requested or obviously needed.

REMINDING YOURSELF

Post the words “Listen Like a Sponge,” or a picture of an ear and a sponge, in relevant places.

DISCOVERIES

At our monastery we call this practice absorptive listening, and we’ve discovered that it does not come naturally to most people. Some people, musicians for example, have been trained to listen with absorptive attention to musical sounds, but that does not mean they are able to listen in the same way when a person is talking to them. Good psychotherapists use absorptive listening. They are attuned to the subtle changes in tone or quality of voice that indicate something deeper than the words, even belying the words, a sticking place, hidden tears or anger, that needs to be explored.

Lawyers are trained to do the opposite, especially if they work in the adversarial atmosphere of the courtroom. They are listening for the flaws or discrepancies in what someone is saying, while simultaneously forming a rebuttal in their minds. This may work in the courtroom, but it does not go over well at home, with one’s spouse or children, in particular with teenage offspring.

When practicing absorptive listening, even people who are not lawyers may notice the presence of an inner attorney—a mental voice saying, “Hurry up and finish talking so I can tell you what I think”—which interferes with tranquil, attentive listening.

People also discover how many times, even in a single minute, they “check out” while someone else is talking. There’s a flick of the mind to a shopping list or a future appointment, or a flick of the eyes to notice someone passing by. Absorptive listening is not easy. It is a skill that takes time to learn.

DEEPER LESSONS

To do absorptive listening, we have to