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By Root 273 0

Trains in Japan and Germany are extremely punctual, so people are able to be on time more predictably than in the United States, where people in single-passenger cars fret as they sit unmoving in frequent traffic jams. One young American described calling the principal at the school where he taught in Japan to say he would be a bit late. He expected the principal to thank him for calling, but instead he was told, “In Japan we think about other people.” He was almost docked a full day of pay for being thirty minutes late. From that time forward, he has never been late.

Some people set their clocks ahead deliberately, to fool their mind and thus be on time. Others set a false deadline in order to generate enough anxiety to get a task done on time. Some people found they were late because they had difficulty stopping what they were doing, or allotting enough time to clean up. Often people found they were late when they tried to cram too many activities into too little time, such as too many errands or one last e-mail before jumping into the car. Then they could not find their keys, necessitating a dash back into the house, a frantic search, a triumphant find, and the realization that they were late, again. Being on time may mean changing not just one but several habits, such as laying out your clothes or making your lunch the night before.

This exercise may uncover several inner voices. The Inner Critic may arise, saying, “You are so stupid! Can’t you even tell time? You’re always late! I think the boss is getting ready to fire you. Then how are you going to pay the rent or buy food? You’re hopeless!” Another inner voice that may appear is the Rationalizer. As soon as you realize that you are late, this voice begins creating and rehearsing excuses. “My alarm clock didn’t go off.” “I got an urgent call/e-mail just as I was leaving.” “Traffic on the freeway was terrible!” The naked truth is this: “I’m late.” The only other thing that’s worth saying is, “It’s my responsibility and I’m sorry.” That’s it.

Some people are never late, and they might try a different exercise. They could watch the mind of judgment about others who do arrive late. Or they could take on the task of deliberately arriving late and then see what arises within their body and mind!

DEEPER LESSONS

This exercise is not really about time. It is about mind-states and habitual patterns. In other words, it is about the constructed self. If we think rather highly of ourselves, we begin to think that our time is worth more than other people’s time. We prefer to be the last to arrive because we have so many important things to do and don’t want to “waste time just sitting around and chatting.” Perhaps our identity is tied to being highly productive and we don’t see talking with our coworkers as producing anything of worth.

Or we may have a personality that is shy. We feel very ill at ease entering a room, trying to decide where to sit, looking people in the eye, and initiating a conversation. We’d rather slip in a little late and lean on our predictable small role in the meeting agenda than arrive early and agonize over what to do in an unstructured social situation.

Travel abroad often brings the realization that time is a human construct, a convenience, a convention we created to make events and people coincide. In many non-Western cultures, time is more flexible. The length of a day is governed by the duration of sunlight or even moonlight. A day in winter is shorter, a full-moon night longer. There is no exact time to meet. A meeting will occur when the time is appropriate. The time is appropriate when everyone has arrived.

Some people notice their mind saying that there is never enough time, which makes them anxious or even angry. “If they would only give me more time!” We have to ask our mind, how much time would be enough? How much time would be too much? In long silent meditation retreats, time becomes elastic. An hour can whiz by when the mind is still and focused. A few minutes can seem like an hour, especially when part of our body is complaining.