I Just Want You to Know_ Letters to My Kids on Love, Faith, and Family - Kate Gosselin [21]
Things came to a head when my new boss wanted me to work double shifts December 23 and 24. Not only did he want me to work on Christmas Eve, it was also a Saturday and Sunday—and I was hired only to work Saturdays. When I told him I couldn’t, he didn’t agree. After all, he wasn’t the one who hired me, and he needed to do his job by scheduling enough staff. But for me, as I already had been wrestling with the idea of quitting, I knew this was God’s way of telling me the time had come. I could trust him. He had always met our needs. Everything had always been taken care of.
I spent time praying, journaling, and reading my devotions as I thought about my options. God was urging me to quit. Jon really wanted me to quit too, which was amazing. And now my boss was making it almost impossible for me not to quit. All this time I had asked God to make it very clear to me what to do, and now he had. I thought about the Israelites entering the Promised Land, and reminded myself that not trusting in God always prevents us from receiving his best.
Sometimes I need answers to be written in the sky in order for me to obey and trust God; but he seems to meet me where I am in my trust in him—or lack thereof. I was still scared to give up my income, but had finally decided do so, since God made it very obvious I needed to.
So finally I heard the words, “I quit,” come out of my mouth. The next time I talked to my boss, I told him my last day would be December 9.
“Okay, I have you down for December 9 and 23,” he said, “and then I’ll take you off the schedule.”
“No,” I said, staying firm. “December 9 is my very last day.”
While I was worried and scared to be out of work, I knew God would always provide. I also felt thrilled to be doing what God wanted me to do. When I told Cara and Mady I wouldn’t be working anymore, Cara lunged toward me and held on for a while, hugging me very tightly as though I had just given her a toy she had been begging for. She confirmed it: I had definitely made the right decision.
Still, while paying bills later that week, I got nervous again, worried that maybe I didn’t do the right thing. But in my devotions that night, I read this: “To claim that prayer will always be answered in the very way and for the particular thing that we desire, is presumption. God is too wise to err, and too good to withhold any good thing from them that walk uprightly.”
With that in mind, I put my fears aside and decided firmly to continue to rely on the Lord for our needs. He would pull us through, I knew, because I was obeying him by staying home with my family. And I was thankful for the opportunity he had given me.
About a year later, Jon and I were invited to speak at a church in Mississippi. I worked closely Vanessa who had arranged the trip, and while I was there, she was sharing with me that she was pregnant with her third child and wanted to stay at home with her kids. I told her my story about how I struggled with the same dilemma.
Three months later it was so rewarding to receive this email from her:
Kate,
Thank you so much for sharing your story with me. I quit my job and am now a stay-at-home mom, and I couldn’t be happier. God has provided for all of our needs just like you said he would. Thanks again for encouraging me.
Vanessa
My kids are constantly teaching me about faith through their own wonder and amazement and acceptance. One night at the dinner table, Mady prayed for our meal: “Thank you, Jesus, for putting this food in our cabinets so Mommy could make us dinner.”
I was blown away at her choice of words and understanding, so I asked her where she came up with that prayer.
In an almost condescending tone, she said, “Well, Jesus did put it there!”
Of course. Silly me.
Another evening as I was preparing dinner in the kitchen, Joel walked in and announced, “Oh, Mommy! Look at the sky! How did it get like that?”
Looking at