I Just Want You to Know_ Letters to My Kids on Love, Faith, and Family - Kate Gosselin [22]
“How?”
“Not with a paintbrush, but he made the sky and decorated it.”
“Oh!”
The next night brought another gorgeous sunset, and Joel once again walked in and looked out the window. “Look, Mommy. Jesus painted the sky again!”
In our busy stressful lives, we often don’t remember to look at sunsets. Our kids often have to point out the simple wonders of living. Since then, whenever I see a sunset like that, no matter where I’m at or who I’m with, I have to say out loud, “Oh look, Jesus painted the sky again.”
Jon and I had planned a trip to California for our first church speaking event in November, and as the date approached I began to feel nervous. Flying is not exactly my favorite thing to do. What if we crashed? I couldn’t bear the idea of not being around for the kids and not seeing them grow up. I spent some time praying that God would protect us the entire trip and reunite our family on Monday when we returned. Just saying things like, “I know you love us, Lord, and I know you are in control. I will trust you!” calmed my heart. Putting myself in God’s hands was the safest thing I could do.
It’s probably a good thing I learned to pray like this, because traveling unbeknownst to me at the time was going to become a big part of my life. Jon and I had two more speaking trips coming up in the beginning of 2007, and I kept on praying for our safety, and more. These were important trips, and I was thankful for the opportunity to show God’s love to the world. I prayed that we would glorify God in all that we said and did. I prayed for our children’s safety, and for them to be happy and feel safe and loved while we were away. I prayed that Jon and I would be able to relax and enjoy our trips so that when we returned we would be more loving and patient parents. I also prayed that Jon and I would reconnect and remember how much we love each other. “Thank you for this never-boring journey you have chosen to send us on,” I prayed. I still thank God for that.
My travels continued, and my prayers did too. I was learning to pray for so much more than myself. I asked God to let his love shine through me as I spoke at different events and venues, and to let me be an example of his love to all who met me.
Prayer and parenting seem to go hand in hand. God knows—and I tell him constantly—that I have always wanted us to be parents who serve him and who teach our children how to love him and each other. I could not do that without prayer. “Lord, make me kind and loving and patient and caring,” I wrote in my journal. “Help my children to know that I love them and that everything I do is for them!”
Marriage is the same way: we can’t do it without prayer. Some days marriage was easy, but when life got stressful and the weight of the world seemed to fall on me, it was all I could do to cry out, “Lord, deliver me from myself and Jon from himself! Please help us to love each other and help me to keep my mouth shut, especially when I am tired and irritable!” I think I know now just how important those types of prayers were—and are, for every marriage.
Overall, some of my favorite prayers were the ones I took straight from Scripture or from meaningful songs and hymns, like, “Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow. Great is thy faithfulness, Lord unto me.” These prayers seemed to speak for me when I couldn’t come up with the words to say myself. I love that there are different ways to communicate with Jesus. My biggest prayer will continue to be that my children have a strong relationship with God and learn to rely on him in every situation.
Letter to Alexis
Dear Alexis,
My “Precious Moments” girl, you were named before you existed! After Cara and Mady were born, Daddy and I agreed our next girl (if we had one!) would be named Alexis. In addition, I always knew that Faith would be your middle name because I had faith that even with our fertility issues, we would be able to have another baby. I’ve always loved how perfect